May 13, 2003
My man
Matt, Canon A1
When I first looked at this photo I noticed something different about it but I wasn’t sure what it was.
When I showed it to a friend she said, “I love this! It’s a photo of how you see Matt” and I think she's right. What Matt shows to the world is something so exuberant, so wild, so funny. He is the life of the party, making people laugh with this quick wit, his silly oversized Anne Klein glasses he breaks out for parties, his “assless” overalls, (Have I mentioned these before?) and his warm laughter and confidence.
These are all things I love about Matt, but what this picture speaks of is another part of Matt, the quiet side of him that feels vulnerable and afraid and looks deep into my eyes and asks, “Do you still love me?”
I’ve been struggling lately with our wedding ceremony and vows. How do you encapsulate all of the beauty, all of the goodness, all of the pleasure, all of the safety into a few concise sentences? How do you prove to your entire family and community that what you share is real and good and will last? How do you do it the honor it deserves?
I’ve been considering all of the angles I might approach this from. A list?
I love Matt because... he makes me laugh, he is generous, he gives great hugs, he is creative and smart and emotionally evolved.
Do I describe the moment when I knew he was the one, when that poem came through over email that made me fall in love?
Do I describe the time when, before I flew to Mexico, Matt wanted to give me a strip of photobooth photos to take with me, but the machine broke so he acted out each frame of the strip that was stuck in the machine?
Or do I just describe the profound joy I feel, at those moments when he’s not doing anything at all, and somehow I can just see him, like in this photo.
Posted on May 13, 2003 07:00 PMI felt your words in my heart. you are amazing.
Congratulations on your union.
Posted by: k at May 24, 2003 04:36 PMAfter much ado - my love and I decided to elope because we realized it was about US not THEM. We married under a mangoe tree in Tobago on April 4/03 - it was beautiful and all I needed was to look into his eyes and say, "I do" and hear him say the same words to me. There was only us there because that is what really matters. Just tell Matt "I do" - he knows the rest! Take a deep breath and remember, it should all be happy -M
Posted by: mitzi at May 23, 2003 03:33 PMI'm incredibly envious Andrea. I know this weekend will be the crowning glory of your relationship and you will live happily ever after (after lots of work that is - marriage isn't easy). Congratulations!!!
Posted by: Kim at May 23, 2003 05:00 AMthank you so much for this entry. i am getting married to a beautiful man in about three months. i just got my MFA in poetry, and he is a school teacher. we are not a normal couple. :) its hard and i am very very scared to get married, but its meeting couples like you who make me see and remember that true beauty is always extrodinary. its not easy to do, but its the most fun and it makes us laugh harder. i feel lucky every day, but i've been so scared, so i'm glad i found your journal. it gives me hope, and i echo your trepidation, but you both are so lovely with each other. stay in love. stay laughing. be scared together. that's all i know how to do. :)
thank you. you're a wonderful artist, as well
Posted by: melissa at May 21, 2003 11:44 PMHey, it's just a wedding! And do you really need to say all those very private things in front of a big group of relatives you've never met, and dad's business partners?
Gahd. People are so hung up on weddingas.
Relax!
Posted by: Caterina at May 20, 2003 08:02 PMYour beatiful words have made me smile. I love to hear about love. Especially a love story that seems destined to transcend all time.....Rich blessings to you and your beloved Matt.
Posted by: Julia at May 14, 2003 05:16 PMI'm still eager to know more. How did you meet? How long have you been dating? I love a good love story.
Do tell.
I wish you a beautiful wedding and a blessed marriage! :)
Posted by: erika at May 14, 2003 02:16 PMi think the beauty of it lies in the fact that no one, not even your family whom i'm sure you love very much too, will ever be able to grasp what you are feeling for the one you love and the multitude of emotions he makes you feel.
it's amazing how love can just make you so happy and you just want to share the same happiness to the people close to you because you just can't contain it inside. but i guess each one of us has our own deep, immense happiness which remains ours and ours alone - other people just get a glimpse of it through our eyes or laughter.
love! *sigh* just beautiful and enchanting, simple yet complicated. and people whose words speak so honestly wonderfully of it are just blessings to the world. thank you for being one of them,
-jo anne.
Posted by: jo anne at May 14, 2003 10:21 AMhow beautiful.
Posted by: brixton at May 14, 2003 10:08 AMWhy not just say exactly what you've said in your journal entry? I mean, what more could possibly be said?
Posted by: Jennifer at May 14, 2003 09:41 AM...I had a nice meditation on this all the way to the super, through and back again. As wonderful as wedding vows are - don't feel you have to prove to the others, the vows are your promise to give out to each other and only to each other. It shouldn't be your concern whether people will get a precise picture of how you feel or how your man is like etc. He will understand you, no matter how you put it, and that is what counts.
Posted by: anissa at May 14, 2003 08:59 AMSo beautiful...
Posted by: Allison at May 14, 2003 07:27 AMperhaps a few carefully chosen sentences can't squeeze all the magic in. let it spill over. take the pressure off. just enjoy picking sentences like picking flowers. i'm certain that the whole bounty of magic will permeate the atmosphere through the whole day.
Posted by: lisa at May 14, 2003 06:44 AMwell, okay. i echo everything said above, but also want to add (since it seems you really are struggling with what to say) that i would AVOID the list. that was the only paragraph in this whole entry that lacked magic. lots of people could make a list about Matt -- only you know the stories of "the moments." i guess people will assume that there is a list of reasons that you are marrying him -- every newlywed couple has one, too -- but give them something that reflects the two of you. give MATT something that shows him how much you love BOTH sides of him -- not just the funny, gregarious side. maybe juxtapose the poem moment with the photobooth moment?
at any rate, you're fabulous and inspirational.
Posted by: mal at May 14, 2003 06:16 AMi really think that it will show in the way you look at him and be with him on that day... what the words fail to describe will only be more obvious from that. no words can fully describe what you feel about him, sometimes only time can tell - as you journey together and make those memories. remember it's a marriage, not a wedding.
Posted by: stef at May 14, 2003 04:44 AMWedding vows are so wonderful, because this is the most true moment. When finally we see tears of true joy and love.
Whatever you decide, I am sure it will come out exactly the way it should, and the way it was foreseen, because there is this deep feeling inside telling you just two true words: "My man."
Posted by: anissa at May 14, 2003 04:37 AMi read your journal regularly from afar.
this is the first time ive felt so moved that ive HAD to make a comment.
youre so lucky! sounds like youve found the perfect man. lovely loveliness. congrats xxXxx
Posted by: h at May 14, 2003 02:45 AMThis is so lovely I'm beaming from ear to ear. *Sigh
Posted by: chakriya at May 13, 2003 07:52 PM