I think the advice to look into how the feeding is going is very wise - we had no idea our son wasn't getting enough until we saw a lactation consultant. As hard as it was to hear, it was helpful, and after awhile I ended up happily and effectively breastfeeding for a year.

I am curious though - anyone willing to share what the reported problems are with the Baby Whisperer input? It truly has been a helpful guide for me and is very similar to what Andrea's supersleepnanny is advising, from what I can tell. I advise all my new mommy friends to give it a try, but as with anything, we have to also follow our mommy instincts and know our child - and no book can be the PERFECT guideline....the process is challenging and I'm continually learning, but I believe it's also part of bonding with our child. Go Andrea! We're all cheering for you, and that little Buddha picture of Ben is one of the coolest baby pics I've ever seen!!! How did you do that???

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This is an incredible photo. Thanks for sharing your joy!

Hi Jim. You letter i received. Thanks! Photos is GREAT!!!!

Hi

I just came across your blog and your photos are amazing. I have a 22 month old who I think is the cutest little boy but your little ben is so cute and dainty! adorable!

Good luck with the sleeping. Mason has been sleeping through the night since he was 7 months old. The problem we have now is he wants to literally LIVE outside and never wants to come in for a bath and bedtime.

oh sweetie . hang in . i remember that soooo wellllll... it stopped a few months ago! :)
best of the bestest.. and he SERIOUSLY is the most delicious baby.. UM.. EVER!
xo.. d

A wobbly high five of commiseration! my Ada Potata hit 3 months on the 10th and I have to double check left from right at every turn.
What great pictures you've been getting, super sweet.
Best to you,
Beth

Dear Andrea, I am sure you are going to be overwhelmed with advice. And you are probably already aware of this, but Sherry Reinhardt has mothers' groups in Berkeley and Albany that are wonderful (try to get into one with the leader Jennifer). http://www.supportgroupformothers.com/
Over the seven months I have been a mom, I have gotten tremendous help from other mothers in my group. The meetings in Albany are run out of the office of an amazing lactation consultant Janaki Costello. Her phone is ( 510 ) 525 - 1155. She seriously saved us when I did not notice that my child was not gaining weight. You may not need lactation help, but kid waking every hour may mean he is hungry (not saying it does mean that - but this is something you can check into). Please do not follow either baby whisperer or babywise - there are serious problems with both systems (Janaki can show you newspaper articles if you talk to her about it). Janaki also knows all doulas and sleep doulas etc - get a sleep doula
and get at least one night's sleep - it is worth the money.
Please email me if you would like to talk. My son is 7 months old and I am in Berkeley. I would be very happy to help you with any local contacts, or just talk. Hugs, Renee

Hi there - am also in the midst of caring for a newbie (daughter Norah is now 1 month old) and at the risk of annoying you :) want to recommend The Baby Whisperer book as my husband and I found it helpful with our son and am trying it again. Not perfect, but helpful. Best wishes.

i have come here once a day just to look at this adorable face.

love u.

green is definitely his color! what a superbaby!

green is definitely his color! what a superbaby!

Dear Superhero Mom,

I'm sure you've gotten oodles of advice regarding the sleep thing. My son was the same way. It took all the strength I could muster up and even once my husband had to hold me down, but..... you just need to let him cry it out. He has developed a habbit- sadly you have to be the one to break it. If it was left up to him you would be at his beckon call for the rest of his life. If you are feeding him plenty during the day- you can tell yourself- he's not gonna die, he's not hurt, he has had plenty to eat- he's just gonna have to learn one of his first "life's hard lessons". Because you love him. I think I started out small and then built up my "crying limit". First night- 10 minutes, then 12, etc. My cut off was about 30 minutes.

Every child is different. You are probably starting to know what each cry might mean. And then there are times when you don't know-

I love your site, your photos, your jewelery. He is blessed to have you as a Mommy!

He is the cutest. Gah! You're getting some great advice and love in these comments. Mostly I want to say that I know you can do this, the great mom thing. This is just must be the tempering part. You know true transformation is quite a process!

My children are 17 and 20 and my mom taught me a little secret that saved my life when they were the size of your little Ben. Cereal in the formula or breast milk. If he is waking up that often to feed he is not getting enough nurishment. There hasn't been a child in our family of 12 grandchildren to my mother who have not had cereal at this point. It was once no big deal but now dr don't tell you that like they did way back when. You just have to clip the bottle nipple a little larger to make sure cereal can get through. You will be shocked at how much better he will sleep. You will probably check on him to make sure he is ok when he doesn't wake up every hour like usual.

andrea,

I have a little girl the same age as your adorable ben. we have been not been sleeping either. I too work from home and have started back a bit and can no longer function on no sleep. here is what we did in the last few days that seems to be working as we are all sleeping. maybe worth a try. http://www.karinabania.com

Dear Andrea,

It's been a long time since I last posted
a comment about your pregnancy. It's very delightful to know that your baby is three months old. Best wishes to you and your lovely Ben.

Love,

soumet (from Xiamen, China)

Hi,

Have you thought of expressing milk and getting Dad to bottle feed some of those in between hours so you can take turns?

My son took breast and bottle so my partner could give some of the feeds as he was a very hungry boy...

It would just be a great idea if you could get a 'little' more sleep

i love the little tongue! :P

Oh! That makes my ovaries quiver. I never sleep as it is so I begin to wonder why I don't have one! However, I don't know if mine would ever be this cute!

andrea, he is so adorable! I love checking in on your site to see his cute little face and what new expression he will show to the world. thank you for sharing the beginnings of his wonderful life.

AND ... I am sending you peace, sleep and sanity! The swing I know has worked for my friends with napping the babes. But, If the walks continue, I couldn't think of a better place to be walking than Berkley in the Spring! We are all with you! You are doing a wonderful job!!!

Your post made me think of my sister who at the time, my nephews were one and one was a newborn....and in her sleep deprived state, after a round of crying, feeding, diaper changing, throw up on the couch, looked at me squarely and said "All I can say, it IS a good thing they are cute!"

Oh! I hope things get mellower for you. Hint (I miss our talks!!!) :D But in terms of the blog: We love the pics... And as long as they keep coming, we're smiling girl!x

Oh you poor tired Superhero. Four months is better...and from six months onwards it is heaven. Hang in there.

Once you break the four month barrier I promise you will start getting some sleep...and the on-the-hour nursing will lighten up a bit. Your sooo close!

I remember when I had a 3 month old and was crying and insane from lack of sleep and a dear friend took one look at me and said "oh, your still crying arent you? You've got about a month." It sounds a bit harsh, but truer and kinder words were never spoken. I totally needed to hear that relief was in sight. Plus, she was right!

Pragmatic friends rock!

Hang in there! xoxoxoxo

He's beautiful congratulations on having such a healthy gorgeous boy. Sorry about your lack of sleep my 2 sisters had their sons in October and they say it does get better.

I remember seeing a sleep consultant at this point because I thought there was an "answer." Oh ho ho! She looked at me sympathetically and told me this is the way it. is. I was flabbergasted. She told me that sometimes the baby is just "waking up" at this point, seeing the world for the first time. It's amazing. We worked so hard getting our little one to sleep for those early months. And then, remarkably, she wanted to go to sleep. So sweet. I like what someone earlier said...if you feel like whatever you're doing is not working for you anymore, feel free to change. You're still a great mom! Lucky Ben.

cute!

Well, he IS adorable! Sorry for the sleep thing, I remember it so well. Know that those of us in blog land are rooting for you! I still feel insane and my girls are nine and seven. He's beautiful, and will be sleeping well soon enough, then you will be missing those quiet times with him.

tammy t

Long time reader, first time caller..lol. I have a 6 month old and a 2 year old. What helped us get through those crazy nights was bed sharing. Both our daughters slept in the bed with us (our eldest until she was 8 months and our sapling just moved out of our bed 2 weeks ago). I'm a breastfeeder so it worked well for us.

I know I have said it before and I will again, trust yourself - if it feels like he is getting too dependant then try something new. If you are content to let him dictate his routine and preferences then great. My daughter had similar phases and just when you think you won't last another minute they change. Everything you have posted so far about mothering has been as if you were reading my mind last year. So just trust, and give in, and follow your instincts.

blessings.... that is what they are

Whoa boy, I remember those days. At least you are in sunny CA and can walk outdoors. When Tim was a babe, it was the dead of winter---icy, snowy, we were indoors most of the time. TORTURE.

It gives you a whole new appreciation for sleep, doesn't it?

There is light at the end of the tunnel, sort of... I just couldn't predict how far off that is ;-)

Best wishes and love to you. He's a doll!

Oh my, the look on his face... just precious.
I have no advice to offer as I have never had one of the wee ones, but I can only wish for brighter days- and more sleep-filled nights ahead for you, Andrea!
xoxo

Ah sweetie. Lack of sleep is so tough! When I read that Ben is three months old now I thought "Oh good. It should be getting better." This is based soley on my own experience with my son, who was up often day and night as an infant but did begin to sleep longer at 3 months. He was never a sleep through the night infant/ baby (or toddler,or preschooler). Those first three months still feel like a blur. I only have pieces of memories. I was SO tired. So here are some "more sleep" wishes to you from Michigan...I feel for you :-)

P.S. Thank you SO much for sharing photos of Ben. On down days and up days, coming to your site and seeing pictures lifts me up again and again.

Do you have a swing? I know some kids hate them, but my three babies would doze for hours during the daytime in their swing. Co-sleeping worked for us. Just know that you're doing nothing wrong and follow your gut. Peace.

k...so, i'm looking at his precious photo and then glancing over at your black and white photo on the left and hmmmm...resemblance? totally.

he is the cutest thing ever (as are you)!!!

i was telling Carsten the other day about you having to walk around and keep moving so that he will sleep. we are in awe of you and your mommy powers. hey...at least you're getting some exercise, right? riiiiight.

love you and your wee one.

xoxox

Happy 3-months-day, little Ben.
Hang in there, Andrea!

Oh my gosh, I may be dying from a cuteness overdose. Precious!

I used to sleep laying on the couch, half sitting up, holding the baby on my chest.

Everyone says it will get better, and it definitely does.....but it doesn't really help the difficulties right now, does it?

Do whatever works. Don't listen to any of the don't advice. Let him sleep in his carseat. Get a vibrating bouncy chair. Hopefully something will work and do that.

Having a newborn is not easy. Hugs to you.

oh dear. i wish i could come over and do everything but nurse this child until you can catch up on your rest. :(

Totally the cute. My mom always says that's why God makes them cute. The more ornery they are, the cuter they have to be :)!

It does get better, and besides when he says "mama" you'll forget all about the lack of sleep. Good wishes and lots of happy vibes being sent your way. You really ARE a superhero. And just LOOK, i tell ya. SO ADORABLE!

I'm right there with you . . . my baby, Stella, was three months old yesterday and although I adore her, I am feeling quite insane too. We have to walk all the time too, but we live in Oregon where it has been raining, so sometimes we have to walk a lot indoors. This really makes me feel crazy! Thank goodness our loft has concrete floors because if we had carpet, there would be a track worn it! And what is with that tongue thing? She just started sticking hers out at me too and she thinks she is pretty darn funny. Being a mom is by far the most insane, unpredictable and fabulous journey I have ever been on.

It DOES get better...because you get more used to it. No, really. You will.

He's GORGEOUS. Congratulations. :)

Go Andrea!!! WOO HOO!!! You are a phenomenal woman! YEEEEEE HAWWWWWWW!!!! SUPERHERO!

{That's the sound from the cheering section in Minneapolis. The cheering is because you and Ben (and Matt) are still alive. So Awwww Yeahhhh!}

Go Andrea!!! WOO HOO!!! You are a phenomenal woman! YEEEEEE HAWWWWWWW!!!! SUPERHERO!

{That's the sound from the cheering section in Minneapolis. The cheering is because you and Ben (and Matt) are still alive. So Awwww Yeahhhh!}

I think he stays awake because he is smart. He is taking it all in. He is a very cute little man.

i just came back for another peek at him and noticed he has 'rubber band wrists'!

i could use another shot of those cute knees too!

Hej Andrea,
Probably you have read a lot of books but can not help recommending the only one I read when my daughter was a baby: 'Tracy Haug's Baby Whisperer ..' She recommends an 2-3 hours of cycles of E.A.S.Y. (Eat. Activity. Sleep. Yourself)which made my life much easier in that period.
Feeding every hour is quite harsh! I hope that you can get out of that routine very soon.

All the best, Rüya

PS: Ben is totally adorable!

I'm right there with you, Andrea!
Are you a Dr. Sears fan?
He promotes a baby bed on his website called the Amby Baby Bed (www.ambybaby.com). It might be a good fit for you 2 since he loves the sling.
We are seriously considering getting one as well.

May God bless you in these weak, tiring moments!

((((((((((Andrea)))))))))))

Ben looks like such a pensive, thoughtful little guy, at least from the pictures you've posted. I can totally see how he'd be giving you the runaround! ;) Parents deserve so much credit for enduring through those difficult first months and years - it's too bad that we view this stuff as "just part of the job" and not as a valuable gift of love and self and energy that's deserving of respect and compassion (from everyone, not just other parents).

You'll make it through. You're stronger and more adaptable and resourceful than you think you are.

the only words i can think to tell new mothers is that it gets better. i know it's awesome (and hard) and somehow 'it gets better' always made me feel good to hear- i think i somehow imagined it was only hard for me.

My sister went through the same thing (aka, it happens to everyone). She and her husband decided that in order to get through the sleepless days they needed some sort of "carrot" (besides the love of their little girl) to help them pull through. They booked a trip for one year from the day when things hit a climax in sleep deprivation. This May they are dropping their 17month old off with my parents and sleeping their vacation away. If a trip is out of reach, go treat yourself to a milkshake or something :)

That's the most intently thoughtful greenbean I've ever seen.

hi there mommy and ben...i just wanted to give you a (as of yet untried) recommmendation. have you heard of the baby whisperer (not ceasar milan,but close). i just received her book for my shower and have been reading it since. there is a lot of info, none of it extreme, but it may give you some guidance and a way out of your sleep deprived nights. i don't know how to link from here, but the author is tracy hogg, the title: the baby whisperer solves all your problems, etc. maybe, maybe it will help....god, he is cute. i even got my husband on board the "we love ben pics" train.

My best friend and her son went through the "he'll only sleep when we walk him" phase, too. It passed around 5 months, if I remember correctly. Somehow, they figured out a way to move him from sling to bassinet without waking him, after some practice. And then they were able to get him to sleep in the stroller while they walked, and so they'd just leave him sleeping in the stroller (also a Bugaboo) after they got home.

He is super cute - I just hope he starts sleeping a bit more soon so you can too. Thanks for being so honest about early motherhood. I am expecting my first baby in September, and I think it will help knowing what I'm in for!

I love your baby. If I had a baby that cute I'd never want to sleep!!

new motherhood deserves its own kind of medal of honor...hang in there and I will keep a good thought for a sleepy sleepy house at your place. Someday, it will happen. When you least expect it, he will sleep, and you will be so accustomed to him NOT sleeping that you'll have to resist the urge to wake him up to make sure he's okay.

The tongue sticking out of his mouth is killing me. Good luck on getting some rest.

my little one is going to be 6 months and for the first 4 of those i had her exclusivly in our bed. I know some people completly poopoo that idea. If you are nursing it maybe an option for you. i know i felt more rested even though she woke several times a night. You may want to do the same during his naps, instead of walking with him lay down with him and get some rest as well.
of course all this advice is for not if the little prince doesn't wish it so! :)
good luck I hope some sleep finds you soon

Hang in there! Loving all the pictures and the little bits of stories. My first is due at the end of June so I'm paying very close attention. :o)

A swing to sleep in during the day saved my life. It's hard to see it now - but this stage passes very quickly. Even the hard times will one day be happy memories.

You may feel like you're falling apart. You can't remember who you used to be and of course you have no sleep. But all the time that you log in now with your sweet Ben is worth it. Please know that you are not alone. My Hannah who just turned one did not really even nap the first three months and she ate all day long. I thought I was going crazy. Bananas! Bonkers! I really didn't enjoy the first three months because I barely felt conscious. Everyone kept telling me that they're easy at this age. I would almost break down in tears thinking if this is easy what's next? When I look back now I'm so glad that I have tons of pictures of her so that I can remember how cute she was without the feeling of tiredness... You can do it Andrea!

Happy 3 months! Mine will be three months next week. Wish I had some good advice for you. Just hang in there, I know it's tough. That must be why babies are so darn cute. No matter how tired and stressed out I am, I look at my son's face and just melt from the cuteness.

You are right- Ben just is the cutest thing and that froggie outfit kills me!

Will Ben sleep any where but your arms? D had a hard time napping, but typically the swing and/or bouncy chair would do the trick as long as I was right there rubbing his belly.

If you do need to hold him and you get tired of walking, you may want to invest in those big inflatable exercise balls. I spent more hours then I care to remember sitting on that with D in the sling, bouncing him to sleep!

Best of luck! When D gets me up 3 times a night (like last night- grrrrr), I just remind myself that there will come a time he won't want to snuggle with me all night and I'll long for these moments.

Sometimes I can almost convince myself that is true. ;)

i want to eat him! please bring him to bead expo in oakland this april so i can take a bite.

on being tired... i remember those days and feeling like they would never end.

while these days are long and challenging, he will only be a baby for such a short period of time. just a tiny blip on the map of his life.

believe me when i tell you. you will long for these days. i know it's hard to believe when you are tired and haven't showered for 2 days and he wants to party all night.

you will be glad you got up with him all those times in the night and walked and walked while you were tired so he could sleep.

you're his sweet mama and he's your little pooper.

smooches on you guys!

meesh

I don't have kids (by choice for now), but continue to be in awe of women who do. If you didn't earn your Superhero stripes before, this should do it! :)

I have been where you are. Now you understand how sleep deprivation can be used as a form of torture!

My first was one of those kids that required bouncing at all times. We would bounce ourselves all the way down to the sitting position but the second our butt hit the cushion, she'd squawk. Amazing.

"This too shall pass" -- but you can hit the library or bookstore for a child sleep book that fits your personal philosophy.

Please disregard all that babywise stuff and follow Ben's cues. But then again I tend more towards Sears than Ferber. My first was similarly high needs, but my second is so easy going in comparison. Turns out the first had reflux that we didn't treat til she was 18 months (oops!) and other sensory issues. Can you get anyone else to spell you and walk him for naps from time to time so you can rest?

Hi, I a mom of three infant boys, and only with the third one I heard of this book called "On Becoming Baby Wise: The Classic Sleep Reference" that provides us some basic eating/sleeping principles and instructions that will not harm your baby.

Briefly, the basic principles covered include:
1. Feeding approx every three hours
2. Trying to keep your baby awake during feedings and a little afterwards. (hard at the beginning, but the baby gets used quickly)
3. Putting your baby down to sleep before the next feeding
4. Keeping your baby on a eat-wake-sleep routine to help their hunger stabilize for faster nighttime sleeping.
5. Trying not to allow babies to become overdependent for sleep on any one prop (rocking, swings, slings, pacifiers, car rides, etc).
6. Generally helping the baby's needs to fit into you and your family's routine, rather than arranging you and your family's needs completely around the baby's routine (or having none at all).
I hope this helps! My third boy went to sleep the whole night through when he was 6 weeks with this book, this is not propaganda, I was so tired with my first 2 babies and I said no more sleepless nights, this really worked! Take care! :-)

hej andrea, sounds like my life at the moment ;-) noah refuses to sleep at home, so I have to walk for hours - if I don't he is really grumpy from the lack of sleep... so I woulk get to know the neighbourhood very well, if I wasen't sleepwalking most of the time... all the best from berlin katrin with noah, today 6 weeks old

So cute....! Don't worry it WILL get better - in about 2 years. A number of years ago now I went to work one day and started crying because I was so exhausted - my daughter was 2 1/2, nursing constantly still and waking up at 3 a.m. to start her day. Those days seem so far removed now. I really do wish they lasted longer (and you probably will too, once they have passed).

ack! Esme is 20 months old now and I still feel insane from lack of sleep some days ... I don't have any good advice about it except to try not to focus on it too much. Ben is beautiful and you will all come through this part too. Happy 3 months - I found things started to get really exciting after that point - gurgling, smiling, laughing and all good things.