December 08, 2007
Happy Birthday Ben!
Me and Ben, Oakland, CA, Canon Rebel XTI
Dear Ben,
You are one year old today. One whole year! People keep saying they can't believe it, that the year went by so fast, but I experienced the year more like you probably did- not fast at all, but long and full and rich and wide and deep. It was a challenging year in a lot of ways but I was always so inspired by your bright sweet face every morning. You are always ready, present, and full of joy to begin again.
You are an extraordinary little guy. You can see in your eyes that you are magic. Mark my words sweet Ben, in 20 years, 30 years, 50 years, they will still be saying, "That boy is magic."
I chose the above photo of us to represent you because the way you express pleasure is by flapping. When you see something that delights you, you enthusiastically flap your arms and legs wildly. In this case it was the camera. You love the camera! You also love dogs. And cats. Once, we walked the neighbor's dog Jupiter and you flapped like crazy and looked at me in disbelief like we were walking a big time celeb. "You KNOW him?!!" your eyes seemed to say. I felt really cool.
You recently discovered pointing. When you are in the Bjorn facing out your index fingers are cocked and ready for action. Dogs, trees, balls, small children? Look out. You cannot escape the pointers. Someone told me recently that pointing is a developmental milestone. Apparently you are a genius and started this early.
I need to take a moment to mention the ball obsession. You flap like crazy whenever you see one and HAVE TO HAVE IT or the world will definitely come to an end. Whenever we go to the grocery store and wander through the produce section the flapping begins. It took me a while to figure out that the oranges, pomogranates and lemons look like nirvana to you- a room full of colorful bouncy balls! Oh my god. What could be better?
You said the word mama (in context) for the first time yesterday. You reached for me and said, "Mama!" and I just melted into a pool at your feet. Little hint Ben: All you have to do is say "mama" and you can pretty much have whatever you want. Seriously. Even the cell phone.
We are convinced that you have extraordinary musical ability. We promise not to push this one on you, but we do notice how the maracas, the drums, the egg shakers, and your Music Together CD make you happier and more calm than anything else. Once when we were at the park a man was playing the ukulele and you just blissed out for nearly a half an hour without moving. Record breaking for a mover like you.
You are still having trouble with textured food. We went to a nutritionist recommended by the doctor recently and that was very frustrating. She didn't even look at you during the appointment! Only at your chart that detailed your height and weight. Then she basically told me it was my fault, that we weren't eating our meals together and that I was just generally holding you back. She then recommended you eat ice cream and fish sticks. WTF?!! excuse my french.
I am going to apologize to you now if I am in fact the one holding you back, but honestly I don't buy it. I think you need more time and you know what? I am in no hurry. You can take all the time you need. You are perfect exactly as you are.
Well Ben, I better wrap up so when you wake up we can take you to the zoo and see your grandparents and sing you a birthday song. You are also getting a really cool Radio Flyer Walker Wagon
When I think of how blessed I am to have you, well, it's like the equivalent of a produce aisle full of colorful bouncy balls. Exciting, gorgeous, a colorful nirvana... and if it didn't look so silly for me to do, I would flap my arms and legs in pure, absolute joy.
Posted on December 8, 2007 09:00 AMas a longtime mother and believer in the magic in which we each own...
forget silly and Flap with your little Ben!!!
a Superhero Fan!!!
Posted by: Penelope at December 25, 2007 12:11 AMCongratulations on Year 1.
I really like your description of the year as "long and full and rich and wide and deep." I am always trying to explain exactly that to people as the mom of a two year old, and you put it so eloquently.
Posted by: Julie Ann at December 18, 2007 11:39 AMSniff....sniff...tears of joy coming down as I read your Mom's post. Don't know you guys but I feel like I do thru the blog... You guys are so sweet! :)
Happy Birthday Sweet Ben!!!! GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS!!!
xo glopa
Posted by: glopa at December 17, 2007 09:31 AMHappy #1...I just love love love this picture...the blurry flappy hands...both of you...warms my heart.
My boys are 24 and 22 and DON'T worry about food and eating. No no never ever. Well except maybe if Ben were 15 and he didn't eat..only then would I worry :>).
You signed up for the hardest job in the world and congrats you all got through year one.
Posted by: Leslie at December 15, 2007 05:08 PMHAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN!!! I know I am a little late!
I finally able to read your journal again....I was on preg leave with my second child. Unfortuantly I had to return to work in an office, but thankfully grammy and my husband get to watch our to amazing little children. I just want to reach out to you and let you know that my son also has trouble eating he is 21 months (22 lbs) and is off the chart for being under weight plus he is a picky eater. I use to get very worried when he would have a day with out much food, but now I am ok with it because i have a wonderful Dr. he told me:
That your child won't starve themselve they know what thier bodies need. When your child wakes up his body already knows how many calories it will consume. If he eats only 3-5 bites-that is ok, if he eats nothing that is ok too. If he rather eat then play let him play he will come to you or let you know when he is hungary. It can take 30-40 times to introduce a new food. Also don't keep shoving more food in front of them it won't work! Just make sure when he does eat it is healthy.
Hopefully, this will help you like it help me. After this appt. it changed me and now if he has a good eating day or a bad eating day. I don't let it bother me. life is to short and they are only little for a short time.
Plus, I just had another baby in Sept. and like her brother she is underweight and tiny (8.5lbs soaking wet, and only 3 months), and picky like her brother and doesn't like to eat a lot. So I have come to terms that i have small little children.
The way i see it is i just have little magical fearies.
Stay Strong, Don't worry, it is not your fault, don't beat yourself up!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOUR SIGHT!
Posted by: Jolene at December 14, 2007 01:10 PMHi Andrea! It's so nice to come back from a long vacation to read your beautiful "one year" letter to Ben. Very touching... Happy birthday, Ben! xo
Posted by: Alex at December 14, 2007 12:54 PMA lot of blessings for you Ben, from Dominican Republic (Caribbean) I read your mommys blog and I love it, its good to see you growing in every page!!
Posted by: yaritza Madera at December 14, 2007 09:06 AMhappy birthday to ben! can't believe i've watched him grow from your blogs - he seems such a really happy baby.
andrea, thanks for sharing your stories - i don't have kids, so hearing your stories really does put me at ease, knowing that things will be OK!
all the best,
xoxo
happy birthday to ben! can't believe i've watched him grow from your blogs - he seems such a really happy baby.
andrea, thanks for sharing your stories - i don't have kids, so hearing your stories really does put me at ease, knowing that things will be OK!
all the best,
xoxo
Happy birthday, wise little man.
Posted by: Lori at December 12, 2007 09:06 AMso we're a little late...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GORGEOUS BEN!
big hugs from London.
Isla and Claire
Hi, Andrea,
I posted before about Ben's food issues and I just remind you that plenty of kids just don't like solids when they're "supposed to" like them. Tiny cubes of cheese worked for our daughter, and she loved the Yobaby yogurt and surprisingly, peas and black beans. She also loved sweet potato (cooked until quite soft and cut into tiny cubes). She hated the baby cereal and ate purees for much longer than recommended, but she's about to turn a very robust 2 on the 23rd. I read that it was good to just offer one or two things at a time (i.e., per meal/snack), especially if your baby may be on the sensitive side, so as not to overwhelm his or her senses. You will crack the code!
I have to tell you that my daughter's first YouTube experience was watching Ben stand in his crib. Now she frequently shouts, "Pretty baby on!" And I am forced to replay the video for her. She also now thinks it's funny to say "Having a poo!" thanks to you two.
Happy birthday, Ben!
Paula
Posted by: Paula at December 11, 2007 12:42 PMHappy Birth Day to Andrea, too!
Posted by: Megan at December 10, 2007 03:23 PMHe's adorable, happy birthday Ben!!
Posted by: Heather at December 10, 2007 12:44 PMHe's adorable, happy birthday Ben!!
Posted by: Heather at December 10, 2007 12:44 PMHappy birthday, Ben! Seeing you on the internet always makes my day.
And while there's not much wrong with ice cream and fish sticks (love them both), the nutritionist lady did make me laugh and go WTF?? myself. What an odd and unexpected piece of advice.
Posted by: marrije at December 10, 2007 09:17 AMhappy happy happy! hugs hugs hugs!
so happy to watch your family grow :)
Posted by: brenda in toronto at December 10, 2007 09:14 AMHappy birthday beautiful Ben!!! I hope your day is wonderful!!
Posted by: Susan at December 10, 2007 07:05 AMDear Ben,
Please tell Mama she made me cry with this post. See, just two Christmases ago, I saw your Mama cry. I think in that moment she might have lost her hope just a tiny bit...her hope that you were coming to her. It made us sad to see your Mama cry ('cause as you'll figure out repeatedly as you grow up, you have a pretty special Mama), so we told her to hold on...we could see you...you WERE coming, we were sure of it! I imagine that's what everyone told your Mama and Daddy...don't lose hope, don't lose faith...Ben's coming! And now here you are at age 1 flapping and pointing your way through the world! Happy Birthday, Ben!
Love,
Marilyn
P.S. Please tell Mama to pay attention to all that maracas, drums, egg shakers stuff. When my sweetie was about your age, he'd sit at the foot of the stairs and pound his hands on the steps...until his Grandma finally told his Mama, "Girl, you need to buy that boy some DRUMS." And the rest, as they say, is history. ;)
Posted by: Marilyn at December 10, 2007 05:51 AMHow the hell has it been a year? Wow.
Happy Birthday to him and Happy Mommy Anniversary to you. It's a BIG milestone. Congrats to you my friend. You're doing a kick-ass job.
Posted by: tracey at December 9, 2007 10:42 PMAndrea,
I second the notion about your nutritionist. My son did not reliably eat until he was two and a half. We have all these picture of him with food because it was such a revelation to us when he would eat something. We were so worried and frustrated.
Once he could talk and really express his feelings we understood that he is very sensitive. This includes his palate. When he told me he didn't like homemade mac and cheese because it was too thick and gooey, I was like what?!?! Then I got it. He likes plain cheese but the homemade mac is to sticky in his mouth (just what I love about it). So then I really got that there are foods he just can't take. So we go really slowly at introducing foods (he's five).
For the longest time we were walking him around the house or showing him a video while he would eat so that he would eat some baby yogurt. That was one of the only solid foods we could get him to eat and still he needed to be distracted. (Now he sits at the table and actually asks for salmon and broccoli. I feel like such a champion when he eats that for dinner. It wasn't even really anything that I did.)
So as you already know, trust yourself and Ben. If he is as active and intelligent as you describe then I can't imagine his health is really suffering so much. I get your worry though. Food is seems like suck a thing for us. It still is for me and I am really being someone who is letting it go. It takes me lots of reminders.
Happy Birthday! and Congratulations!
Love,
Jen
Happy Birthday, Ben! Hope it was a good one.
And Happy Day You Gave Birth, Andrea!
(I'll share Little Man's Project Fatten Up tips with you later.) ;)
Posted by: VDog at December 9, 2007 09:51 PMhappy birthday!
Posted by: tiffany at December 9, 2007 08:16 PMHappy Birthday Ben!
Posted by: Ali at December 9, 2007 07:55 PMWhat a great thing to write!
I found your site from MightyGirl's - just stopped by to say hi!
Posted by: ALF at December 9, 2007 07:29 PMhappy birthday sweet ben! what a truly joyous photo of the two of you. there is no way to look at this and not smile while flapping your arms in celebration.
xoxo
Happy Birthday Ben! Andrea, you look beautiful in this photo and you both look oh so happy. :)
Posted by: Mary at December 9, 2007 06:29 PMandrea you look great!
happy happy birthday dear ben!
my sweet little seren turned 13 on december 5th. we just celebrated his bar mitzvah last weekend.
it's hard to believe how fast they grow up. kiss ben's little baby cheeks as much as you can.
xoxo,
meesh
Posted by: meesh at December 9, 2007 06:03 PMhappy birthday sweet ben and happy day to you andrea and matt - it's been a milestone year for you all!!
xo
Posted by: stef at December 9, 2007 04:09 PMHappy Birthday Ben! It is so obvious how much your mommy and daddy love you. You are a lucky boy.
Oh and about the soild food. I had the same exact thing happen with my son. Your nutritionist can shove her ice cream and fish sticks where the sun don't shine. Ben will eat solids when he is ready. Just like his smart mama said. :)
Posted by: jen b at December 9, 2007 03:57 PMNo way, NO WAY can Ben be a year old!! And here just a day before my mum's birthday. She's a happy-flapper, ukalele-appreciating dog-loving person, too!
What a delight to watch Ben grow in these lovely photographs you share with all of us. The task of motherhood suits you so well, Andrea, one can "hear" in your musings the joy you derive from this journey; and I encourage you to keep giving yourself permission to be Ben's singular, wonderful mama (fish sticks?!?! please, mercury, HELLO!).
Happy anniversary to all of you! Thanks for the fun and reflection that you have shared with all of us--I feel like I know this little man. Just as you say, in 20-30 years I'll be saying, hey that's Ben, the Superhero baby!
Cheers!
Posted by: Pamela at December 9, 2007 02:56 PMHappy,"flappy" joyous, birthday to sweet Ben!!!
:)
Oh my. And born on Bodhi Day. This is no mistake indeed. Happy birthday Momma.
Posted by: Karen at December 9, 2007 01:16 PMHappy Birthday Ben!
My son is the same age. His first birthday is next week. He too has had a hard time with the textured food. Only recently did he start eating anything textured. Once he started though he took off. He's eating cheerios and tofu without gagging. Our ped said to just let him eat the purees as long as he wanted because he's at least eating. Good luck to you.
Posted by: Nancy at December 9, 2007 11:20 AMAwww...a whole year. Happy Birthday, Ben!
Posted by: Angela Klocke at December 9, 2007 10:43 AMHappy Be-Me-Day Ben...and his mommy and daddy!
Big hugs! Loads of flapping! New memories! And never-ending love!!!! xx
Happy Be-Me-Day Ben...and his mommy and daddy!
Big hugs! Loads of flapping! New memories! And never-ending love!!!! xx
Happy Birthday Dear Ben!
Happy Birthday Ben!
I've thoroughly enjoyed reading all about you and smiling at the sight of a photo of you throughout this last year. You can see the magic in your eyes!
Happy Birthday!!! I hope you and Matt plan to have a glass of champagne to celebrate surviving the first year - it is probably one of the biggest things you will achieve. I thought when my son turned 1 it was the most amazing time - but it gets BETTER!! He is now 20 months old and is just the most amazing little person who seems to achieve a new developmental step nearly every day. He is such a wonderful companion who is full of life and fun.
BTW, my son went through a phase only recently where he was very fussy about his food and wouldn't touch anything with chunky veges, so I had to revert to pureed baby food and homemade vege juice. Doing this avoided stressful mealtimes and I knew he was still getting the nutrition he needed. Chunky, mushy or liquid - who cares what form it comes in so long as he is happy!
Love and congrats!!
Posted by: Michelle at December 9, 2007 12:33 AMso great. happy birthday ben!
Posted by: joleen at December 8, 2007 10:54 PMFlap away!!!!
Who cares what anybody thinks~
Big Aloha and Hauoli La Hanau for gorgeous Ben and the proudest parents ever...
So Happy for you.
Cheers,
lisa
kahului, Maui
(longtime lurker)
:o)
Happy birthday, magic boy!
Posted by: Sam at December 8, 2007 09:31 PMHappy 1st Birthday Ben!!!
Our Samuel Benjamin turned 1 on November 9th and it's just a cool time all around (pointing,flapping/wiggling happily,mamma talking:) these two seem to share many traits). Many Congrats to you and your hubby:)
BTW I am in Music Together and a mothers/baby play group and have met *tons* of moms and babies this age who have issues w/ textured foods. Won't eat em', don't like em'. I even know a couple who refuse everything but ultra smooth baby food and milk. So, you and Ben are not alone and it is not your fault! Nothing is wrong it's just his preference for now. He will tell you when he is ready (you are right on that)and you will see the signs and you will know what to do:) He's perfect, you are perfect. May I also just add . . .fish sticks and ice cream!!?? WTF indeed!
Happiness and Harmony, Leia
Sigh. sniffle. Hooray!!!
Posted by: shelley noble at December 8, 2007 09:07 PMWow--already?? Happy Birthday to you both! (oh, and hubby too). I love how you chose a photo that expresses his joy. That's the best!
Posted by: simone at December 8, 2007 08:43 PMSweet Blessings Birthday Boy...
here's to the magical you and your amazing mama and dada ;-)
xoxoxo
Time's a funny thing isn't it. My son is 6 and a half and it's been the longest period of time in my life but has gone the quickest in some senses. They change so quickly that the good and bad times just whizz by.
Happy birthday Ben and congrats to your parents to making it through the first year with you. May there be many many more. I love the photo!
Posted by: jen at December 8, 2007 08:01 PMHappy Birthday Ben!
Posted by: ~moe~ at December 8, 2007 07:26 PMi teared up just reading the title of your post.
because that means in just 3 short months my little guy will be 1. i have no concept of time anymore. i just want to soak up every moment of baby time.
happy birthday ben.
Posted by: jill s at December 8, 2007 07:22 PMThis post and photo was a shot of joy in my day!
Posted by: Jennifer/The Word Cellar at December 8, 2007 06:33 PMHappy Birthday, Ben!
I remember seeing your mom at the Weepies show in Sunnyvale last year when her belly was full of you, and now look at the lovely little guy you've turned into! Growing and smiling and flapping with happiness.(BTW, No, I don't know you Andrea, but you looked so familiar to me at the t-shirt stand at the concert...I finally put 2 and 2 together--I read your blog & that's why you looked so familiar! I was too shy to say anything, plus it was crazy busy!)
Posted by: hannah m at December 8, 2007 06:25 PMhappy birthday ben. it's been a delight travelling with you on this wondeful journey!
Posted by: marilee pittman at December 8, 2007 05:51 PMhappy birthday ben. it's been a delight travelling with you on this wondeful journey!
Posted by: marilee pittman at December 8, 2007 05:51 PMYour neighbor's dog is named Jupiter, just like SARK's famous cat.... what a fun connection!
Jules
House of Jules
Your neighbor's dog is named Jupiter, just like SARK's famous cat.... what a fun connection!
Jules
House of Jules
Happy Birthday, Ben! Wishing you a blessed second year, to you and your mommy and daddy!
Posted by: Jamie at December 8, 2007 04:55 PMThinking of you all on this beautiful BIRTHDAY for BEN!!! I am getting misty thinking about this day for you. My how a year flies! Here's a quote that always hits the spot for me when I see my babes grow:
"New parents grieve as their babies get bigger, because they cannot imagine the child will ever be so heartbreakingly cute and needy again. Sam is a swirl of every age he's ever been, and all the new ones, like cotton candy, like the milky way..." Anne Lamott speaking about her growing boy, Sam, from Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith.
Ben will always be this precious and my...you must be soooo proud. He really is lovely, Andrea! And my, what an amazing mommy you are - in every way.
Love,
Your friend who always screws up being the snack mom, Michelle (couldn't resist commenting on your last entry)
Happy Birthday Ben! What a miracle and joy for us all. I celebrate with you...
Posted by: kristine at December 8, 2007 04:47 PMhappy bday beautiful ben!
Vx
happy birthday sweet Ben.
been thinking of you all day and how blessed i am to have been touched by your magic.
thank you for making your mom bliss out every day with your cuteness.
we love you.
xoxo
Happy Birthday Ben!
I am just another one of the Superhero Journal's faithful readers but I thought that I would take a moment to add something today.
Congratulations Andrea! This day is as much a milestone for Ben as it is for you! You've been a mom now for one whole year! What a beautiful post you've written today.
If I could add just one thing, I would add this:
Congratulations Ben for being born into a world where Andrea is your mother. She's a jewel. Cherish her, for she is like no other!
P.S. Kiddo, you picked a winner!!!
xoxo - Kristi
Happy birthday Ben! Little Ada's is next Sunday and we're very excited to let her have a (tiny) piece of cake to wear on her face and hair. Regarding food texture, Ada just recently clued me into how involved she needs to be in order to dig new foodstuffs. A low bowl (high-sided plate?) where she can examine the goods up to her elbows while I occasionally dip in with the spoon and bring it to her mouth had made a big difference in her willingness to try things. I was so flattered when she ate my chop suey today I had to call my mom.
p.s. she doesn't like fish sticks- I think there is a better nutritionist out there.
I am 25 and I STILL have problems w/ some textures of foods! I grew up a very picky eater and did not realize until recently that it was always the textures that freaked me out more than the tastes. Some even made me gag. I wouldn't even try new things until I was about 16 when I took a cooking class and we had to try everything.
Anyway, point is, I'm just fine. I eat lots more variety now and I'm sure he will be fine as long as junk food does not become a substitute for nutritious food.
People tend to like different kinds of flavors at different ages too. In a few years he'll probably want to put ketchup on everything and eat hot dogs every day.
(I've read that not liking textured foods can be a sign of autism or aspergers, but they also do not engage in people the way you describe Ben, so maybe it's something to watch for, but not worry about).
Good luck!
Posted by: becca at December 8, 2007 03:29 PMHappy Birthday to you both. I hopeyou have a wonderful day!
Posted by: Gry at December 8, 2007 01:46 PMWhat about making a book (and getting it published) filled with all these beautiful letters to your boy?
Posted by: Jill at December 8, 2007 01:03 PMHello!
Congrats to you both. I threw huge parties for both my babes' firsts b/c I was so exhilarated that we made it.
I'm hopping on to ask if you've ever heard of Kindermusik? It's a children's play class that uses music to teach all sorts of age appropriate developmental things. My mother-in-law is a huge music afficianado and she paid for Kindermusik classes for my little ones -- we're still in it with my son. It's great.
Also, here's a little healthy trick to help Ben gain weight, only if you want to worry about it (which, by the way, I think your approach is perfect): buy the "Carnation Instant Breakfast 2x the Protein/Calcium" powder packs. Sprinkle it on whatever he'll eat that won't ruin the taste (in pancake batter, in muffin batter or on muffins, in milk etc etc.) It's cheaper than PediaSure and more versatile b/c of the powder part.
Best to you! And enjoy this second year. It keeps getting better!
Posted by: Imanitsud at December 8, 2007 12:24 PMHappy Birthday, Ben! What a wonderful boy you are! Tell your mom how much we, the internet, appreciate that she shares you with us. Also tell her that the nutritionist is crackers. You'll eat healthy food that's all kinds of chunky eventually and you don't want those silly old fish sticks (thought ice cream might be a nice birthday treat!).
Posted by: MamaChristy at December 8, 2007 12:17 PMAndrea, no matter what else you accomplish in life, your children will be your finest creations.
Treasure every second right now. In my experience the minute they start walking, you will find yourself taking a backseat to the fine art of discovering life.
My granny used to say, "Go stand in the yard and flap until you fly". Thanks for the reminder.
Posted by: Deb at December 8, 2007 12:16 PMAndrea, no matter what else you accomplish in life, your children will be your finest accomplishments.
Treasure every second right now. In my experience the minute they start walking, you will find yourself taking a backseat to the fine art of discovering life.
My granny used to say, "Go stand in the yard and flap until you fly". Thanks for the reminder.
Posted by: Deb at December 8, 2007 12:15 PMI came here this morning just to see the celebration. Happy Birthday Ben!! You must be feeling love from all over this round bouncy globe of ours this morning. Flap!
Happy BIRTHday to you too, Andrea. This letter made me cry, just like seeing that first picture of Ben did a year ago. having hopes and dreams come true is big and confusing, but also such a deep blessing.
Ohhh! Happy birthday, Ben! You are fabulous! I'm so glad for you Andrea, this is so BIG.
Posted by: ollka at December 8, 2007 11:43 AMHappy happy birthday, wee Ben! You are truly blessed to have such wonderful parents and so much love in your life.
Andrea - what a beautiful post and beautiful photo - as usual! Love the description of the bouncy colorful balls... spot on!! On a funny note, today is also my boy's birthday (his second) and his dad and I are taking him to the zoo tomorrow. :)
Posted by: emma at December 8, 2007 11:40 AMHappy Birthday Ben! I wish you a very good day filled with lots of bouncy colorful balls, cake, hugs and lots of love.
A beautiful picture! xoxo
Posted by: Jennic at December 8, 2007 10:53 AMHey there - I LOVE this letter. I'm so happy for you :) You made it one whole year and he is such a sweet heart. What a great picture. I'm sorry about the insensitive nutritionist- but yes. Take your time... I'm sure Ben will eventually clue in that food is yummy and good. I doubt he will be a 50 year old asking for a bottle of milk for dinner. Hang in there!
Posted by: AndreaD at December 8, 2007 10:49 AMHappy First Birthday Ben!
Posted by: Robyn at December 8, 2007 10:47 AM