i really love your posts and the photos are just A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. the corners of my lips automatically smile whenever i read your musings.

Anyway, i thot i'll share with you our challenges and anxiety for the past two weeks and a link from my blog on the challenges of feeding a child... seriosuly, it's O.K.
http://penelopegan.blogspot.com/2008/01/ive-got-button-bard-is-its-name.html

Oh, and another recomendation here for Moxie and the moms who comment there... an amazing resource. Her stuff on sleep saved my sanity, but in addition to that, I've found LOTS of other excellent information there. I heart Moxie!

I'm continually suprised by how *so little* is one-size-fits-all. Where you appreciated "the people in my life that gave me permission not to breastfeed, that told me he would be healthy and fine either way," I was intensely grateful for those who didn't give me permission to quit breastfeeding, those who reminded me that my struggles weren't in vain. In fact, I was almost more dismayed with the [very, very well-intended!!!] reassurances of "give him formula, he'll be fine either way!" because I so deeply wanted and was trying so, so hard to make breastfeeding work even though it was looking quite bleak (newborn w/ food allergy, and I had major supply issues).

Isn't it wonderful when the support around us is just what we need? Whether it be permission to do something different, or encouragement to stay the course? :) I'm so glad you felt supported and empowered when you needed it!

My son was and still is reluctant to try new foods, so I let him kind of guide himself on his eating, and continued to offer new foods to him once in a while. Turned out he's allergic to eggs (they make his tongue itch). I believe he was instinctively protecting himself and managing his eating just fine all along! Sometimes our kids know what's best for them, and I'm sure Ben will sort out his eating habits while you continue to offer him different foods. *hug*

I am starting to feel a little silly for how often I wear my Superhero necklace but I love it, and get lots of compliments. Also, I think it is so smart the way you have created something unique and identifiably yours. There is lots of nice handmade jewelry out there that gets lost in the crowd--not your necklaces.

This is the first time I'm posting, but I've been an active reader of your blog for almost two years now. I guess I finally have something to offer, so here I am.

Being a Mom of 4 wonderful kids...the oldest 19 and my youngest 4. I'm no stranger to what you are going through with Ben. All my children went through it and I had the doctors giving me looks and making me feel like a terrible mother. The one thing I have learned is.... kids will eat when they are hungry. Unlike adults they don't eat because it's a certain time of the day or to fill a void and use food for comfort. Your a wonderful mommy and Ben will be just fine.

One thing I did do for my one daughter was use Pediasure, because she only weighed 16 pound when she turned 1. It's a children's nutritional supplement that Ben may enjoy drinking...it comes in a few different flavors.

You have so many wonderful friends here and I'm happy you are able to find comfort through them.

hi beautiful mamma,
At the end of the day...YOU are his mommy...and YOU have to do what you think is best for him...you know your son better than anyone else...enjoy! xx

I came accross this in a book just today, after I read this post.

"...Many problems we face are solved best by doing nothing at all, difficult though that may sometimes be. For example, feeding problems in children are handled best not by forcing them to eat, not by putting on a better floor show, not by encouraging and bribing them, but rather by doing nothing and waiting until they get hungry enough to eat."

--Our Troubled Selves, Allen Fromme, PhD

I would love to be more like this in all areas of my life, but I totally thought of you and what you wrote when I read it.

You're doing a wonderful job.

You DO have very kind readers. I'm glad that the judgmental ones have the decency to NOT leave a comment. Mean moms are the worst!

Hey!
So, I was thinking of sending you a New Yorker article (if you haven't read it). It was from a few weeks back, and it was about how the prevailing wisdom on kids and food is being rethought. there is all this new research that if you have a small kid, that's fine. It's all this crazy over feeding them that can lead to problems later in life, not being small.
I commented a while back that my friends baby was having the same hatred of textured food. Well, when she took him to the doctor, the doctor told her to CUT BUTTER INTO ALL HIS FOOD! Whhhhaaaaa? She said, "thanks so much, crazy," scooped the baby up and left ;)
Don't worry about it! He's going to be fine. As long as he's happy, who cares! My boyfriend is a picky eater, and when he was little (a toddler and up) he only ate ramin, rice, and frozen peas. I swear! And he somehow survived.
Anyway, if you are interested in the article, let me know, and I'll clip it and mail it off to you.

To this day, my kids are still rather picky eaters. I make a game of introducing new things to them, but I don't stress anymore if they don't want to eat the awesome dinner I make. I no longer make two dinners and instead have some of their favorite healthy stuff around for them to eat.

In due time, your son will eat what he likes. He is just exerting a little bit of control at his young age!

Don't stress, just enjoy.

I love your necklaces - I sent my hubby a link (amount others) - I wonder if I'll be finding one in my stocking this year... if not he'll be finding that link in his inbox again before Mother's Day. =)
I wouldn't worry too much about the eating thing - not yet at least - give him some more time.
Plus...at least you can still easily carry him in that front pack!

someone probably mentioned this already, but folks who are supertasters sometimes have a different relationship to food textures and tastes. they taste way more than the average joe! perhaps little ben is thusly gifted. :)

and i think that sometimes time sorts things out--so what if he's not super keen on prickly solids right now? he's eating *something* and that's good!

someone probably mentioned this already, but folks who are supertasters sometimes have a different relationship to food textures and tastes. they taste way more than the average joe! perhaps little ben is thusly gifted. :)

and i think that sometimes time sorts things out--so what if he's not super keen on prickly solids right now? he's eating *something* and that's good!

You probably read Moxie (www.moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie), right? Every time I am feeling like that--full of doubt and uncertainty, dizzy with the advice of conflicting experts, completely out of touch with my own instincts, I read what she has to say on the subject. She always reminds me that I love my child, and my child loves me, and even the decisions I make in confusion and desperation are made from love and an intimate knowledge of my child--and therefore are expert. She's so good at reminding me it's all going to be okay--if you don't know her, you should check her out right away.

I know my sister-in-law chose not to breast feed my younger niece (though I don't remember what she chose to do with the older one...), and I think you're right - it's totally a personal choice, and fine either way.