April 01, 2008
Swirly and me
Swirly and Andrea, Lake Anza, Berkeley, CA Canon Rebel Xti
Disco woods, Christine and Andrea, Canon Rebel Xti
When I started Superhero Designs eight years ago, I decided to interview several different women that I admired who were running successful businesses. Swirly, who was running a greeting card and paper products company then, was at the top of my list. We didn't know each other well at the time, but I knew intuitively that I had a lot to learn from her and that she would be generous with me. I was right on both accounts. In fact, all of the women I interviewed were incredibly open and encouraging and supportive. After these interviews I felt like I had built a sort of board of directors, people I could look to for guidance through the coming years and people who truly stood for my success.
I think this was the beginning of relying on my tribe of women for support (both professionally and personally) For a long time, a group of friends and I met each week for what we called "in Progress." This was a place where each of us could share what we were up to creatively, celebrate what we had accomplished and get input and feedback on where we were stuck or stopped. At the end of each meeting we would commit to taking one more step before the next meeting. We learned so much from each other! But most importantly, I learned that women helping women is a truly sacred thing.
In writing this, I remembered that we played the game Cowgirls at our first meeting. This is one of those games with a stack of cards with questions and everyone goes around the room and responds. One of the questions that came up was, "What part of your body do you dislike?" The woman who got the question (someone I didn't know before that night) looked perplexed. "Honestly, I can't think of any parts of my body that I dislike." I have never forgotten that moment because I had never met anyone before that day who accepted her body just as it was. Again, there is so much to learn from other women.
My creative girl posse has grown and morphed over the years and is a hugely important part of my life. I appreciate how loving and admiring we are with one another, how there is a culture of generosity in these relationships and an authentic desire for one another's success. I also love how much we play dance, laugh and cry with each other.
Swirly was here for the last few days and I miss her already. We hiked in the woods, went to a dance class, had a photoshoot at my studio, made a beautiful meal, drank way too much wine, and had slumber party giggle fits. We also had "business" meetings about our respective projects and gave each other lots of great feedback.
Have you seen your girl tribe lately?
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Posted by: tomsu at April 15, 2008 02:45 PMi loved this post, but i have to say that it made me happy and sad at the same time. i love the fact that women respond to each other like this. the sadness comes from not having this in my life. but this post also inspires and encourages me to make this happen for myself.
the other comments are also really interesting - as always. there are so many women like me who want this kind of relationship and network with other women but for one reason or another don't have it. there is surely some potential there to start building something. hmmm...
Posted by: susan at April 7, 2008 01:57 AMI think you are all so blessed to have one another. :~) Unfortunately I don't have a girl tribe... but I really enjoy reading your blogs and I'm inspired by all of you. Hopefully someday I will find my tribe...
Posted by: Rhonda at April 4, 2008 07:24 AMandrea.....yes,what an inspiring group of people!!!!!!!makes me feel very energized just reading about the personal connections you created, fantastic.......i've dwelled in the suburbian bay area for a couple of years and still searching for some positive, creative vibes.........thanks for sharing
Posted by: tina at April 3, 2008 01:14 PMHello Girl Tribe People,
Amen Andrea. I just got back from the Bay Area, traipsing all about the city, Oakland, Berkeley etc with part of my girl tribe and it was SO awesome. I sent out good gt vibes to you my dear, knowing you were somewhere close. But I just sent off some notes to thank my girls I was with, for it was a week that created fine memories I shall carry with me from here on out. It was like I was living my fantasy from when I was little, cooking, dancing, laughing & sweating & discovering and discussing all the while good music played and good wine was shared with my GIRLFRIENDS!
thanks girlfriends.
xo
Hello Girl Tribe People,
Amen Andrea. I just got back from the Bay Area, traipsing all about the city, Oakland, Berkeley etc with part of my girl tribe and it was SO awesome. I sent out good gt vibes to you my dear, knowing you were somewhere close. But I just sent off some notes to thank my girls I was with, for it was a week that created fine memories I shall carry with me from here on out. It was like I was living my fantasy from when I was little, cooking, dancing, laughing & sweating & discovering and discussing all the while good music played and good wine was shared with my GIRLFRIENDS!
thanks girlfriends.
xo
How inspiring! I haven't yet corralled my posse; it's all been 1:1 and very much here or there. And I'd love it to grow, because you are very right: there is nothing with which to compare this kind of relationship among women.
I'm smiling at your photos! You are both so beautiful.
I am so jealous...I haven't seen Swirly since January and I miss her terribly. Hopefully we'll have some girly time soon! And I so can't wait to meet you at Squam. Glad you two had fun!
Posted by: melissa at April 3, 2008 10:03 AMI am so jealous...I haven't seen Swirly since January and I miss her terribly. Hopefully we'll have some girly time soon! And I so can't wait to meet you at Squam. Glad you two had fun!
Posted by: melissa at April 3, 2008 10:02 AM..fun..
Posted by: kelly at April 3, 2008 07:32 AMandrea, so happy for you that you have your girl tribe. i'm starved for one - the friendship of women really is important, sacred even.
Posted by: brenda in toronto at April 3, 2008 07:10 AMoh oh oh! this makes me so missing you both. love these photos.
love you both.
xo
jen gray
One of the things that's been great for me while I've lived abroad this year is that I'm also thinking about how I live "a broad"--get it? So bad. Anyway: my home girl posse is, of course, at home, but with at least one member of it, I've been able to keep in touch through Skype. I recommend this for other people who might be separated from their people: rather than focus on having to have something to say, sometimes we just hang out with our computers on and our video cameras up and running. I play with her baby daughter (last week, I was teaching her about British birds, reading to her from my bird book); I distract the baby while my friend cooks snacks or dinner; I hang out with my friend and her husband when he gets home from work. When they need to leave the room, they do, and I putter around and do something else for a few minutes until they can come back.
And, my favorite: we dance. Last week, we put on "Twist and Shout," and my friend (in Kentucky) danced and I (in England) danced, and the baby thought it was awesome. Because it was. I'm hopeful that from us she'll learn what it's like to have a good girl posse, too, especially since when I come home, the rest of the posse will be in place as well.
I'd rather be there with them in person, but I can't be because I'm not allowed to come home until August. But maybe the solutions that we've come up with will help other people who are thinking, "I'd love to see my tribe, but I can't afford the plane fare..."
Posted by: Dr S at April 3, 2008 03:51 AMThanks for reminding me that I miss my girl tribe. For 4 years we had an annual WWW (Wise and Wonderful Women) Weekend in a lovely house we rented for the first weekend in May in the middle of the beautiful English countryside. For various reasons, they stopped happening - so now you have inspired me to re-create the connections with my girl tribe (or WWW as we call it).
Love the Cowgirl Cards too - thanks for the pointer.
I also love your description of how you and Swirly have supported each other in growing your business. I am involved in a start-up and we are looking at evolving in such a way. I am currently participating in a Global Presencing Webinar with Otto Scharmer of the Presencing Institute and MIT which provides similar inspirations
You are a great inspiration !
Cheryl in England
Posted by: Cheryl at April 3, 2008 03:18 AMyou honeys are so cute! so glad you had a few days of tribe time together, and can't wait to be kissing both of those faces .... not long to go now :-) x
Posted by: susannah at April 3, 2008 01:38 AMI love that bottom picture so much. I don't know either of you IRL, but those pictures just look like 2 women who have grown up to be the women that they were meant to be as children, and that you can still see those children inside of each of you. (If that makes any sense.) It's just that I think so many people get so lost growing up that there is no sign of that child they used to be still inside of them, and you two seem to have held onto it so wonderfully.
Posted by: robyn at April 3, 2008 12:57 AMdisco woods photo? Totally inspired and beautiful.
Posted by: keri at April 2, 2008 09:41 PMoh, how i long for a "creative girl posse" like you have! for some reason, i tend to feel intimidated by the creative souls who inspire me...as if i'm unworthy of their time, attention, etc. (i am working really hard to get over this!) you mentioned that when you first interviewed Swirly, you didn't know each other well. if you're willing to share, i'd love to know what kinds of questions you asked her...
Posted by: emily at April 2, 2008 08:20 PMYes, Swirly is simply an amazing soul. I have been reading her blog for a long time now and in some of my tougher moments I drop in and catch up on a bunch of her posts all at once and it is like being swarmed with cookies and sunshine all at once! She was so generous with me as well on a project and so let us all salute the one and only Swirly!
Posted by: Alexandra at April 2, 2008 07:28 PMI feel like I have the best girl tribe ON THE PLANET, and I am so grateful for YOU. xoxo
Posted by: Swirly at April 2, 2008 07:05 PMI only wish I had something like this. Can I say I'm envious...but in a good way. :)
Posted by: Susan at April 2, 2008 06:22 PMI see my girl tribe about once a month; we all take turns filling in on personal life matters, then artwork/career/job info, and nearly always accompanied by good food and good drinks, and fun dogs if we are lucky! I will see them this Friday for my birthday!
Posted by: sonrie at April 2, 2008 06:17 PMMany member of my girl tribe have scattered to new cities, states, and even countries over the past year. This post made me realize how much I miss them. I will make the effort to reconnect and squeeze in a few road trips. Thanks.
Posted by: janehatesdick at April 2, 2008 06:06 PMmmmmm...i am SO, so happy for you two, that you were able to do all those juicy things. a dance class? i LOVE it!!!!! i miss you guys.
these photos made my heart swoon. look how gorgeous you two are, getting your boogie on in 'da woods and kissy lips and that photo of Swirly in your studio is DIVINE.
i am so grateful for my tribe for all the reasons you share here.
i love the idea of a weekly "In Progress" meeting. talk about the idea of keeping yourself accountable. wow...i wonder how we could cultivate this via emails and calls...since we all live so far away.
whoever that woman was that said she loved her body i want to smooch her face!
love you.
xo
sounds great! i am jealous!
amanda