we have just moved, having had to downsize because of health and other stuff. we got rid of our big old telly (no great hardship as the volume was up the creek so you could only have shouting or whispering!) and also got rid of sky tv so now we have the very limited uk terrestrial channels.

i have never been much of a telly addict anyway - i had no telly at all for years - so it has been ok for me. my son watches far more dvds than he did before and also does more other things like gardening! i could not give up the net though - i relax by laptopping (a new verb i made up) in the garden or in bed. but i never read or listen to the news...

I don't know if you are still reading comments on this post but all I have to say is I know EXACTLY why I get online so much to check out Etsy and blogger all the time. I work as an administrative assistant (translated: glorified secretary) and I ache for creative things. I fill this ache through blogs of artistic people and checking on my artistic endeavors through Etsy. It's a need I never can fill so I am constantly stealing time that belongs to my boss. {{sigh}}

Sometimes it feels like we're always trying to fix something about ourselves, but we aren't broken. But we put so much energy into fighting that truth that we are enough, we are good, we are who we are, that it's so much work to do the things that we know will heal us.

I know exactly what you are talking about. I am ready to just be, and to create, and allow life to be good.

Long time reader, first time poster here.

I'm not sure that you read all your comments, but I was wondering if you have a friend or colleague who does life coaching down in southern california. I live in Newport Beach but am willing to travel a reasonable distance.

I love your spirit, your words, and your energy. Thank you for your blog.

Please email me at jenniferdoran2003 at yahoo dot com if you have any referrals. Thanks! Other readers, I'd appreciate your suggestions too!

You freak me out - no matter how long its been, you're right here with me!

And what did I ask you in my last email? To join my latest addiction, Facebook!

Unreal.

Keep me sane by keeping this flowing. Loved your "love note" too, sorry I forgot to read it until now!

So glad I'm back where I belong. But not to be addicted...swear...

xoxo
~malia

You freak me out - no matter how long its been, you're right here with me!

And what did I ask you in my last email? To join my latest addiction, Facebook!

Unreal.

Keep me sane by keeping this flowing. Loved your "love note" too, sorry I forgot to read it until now!

So glad I'm back where I belong. But not to be addicted...swear...

xoxo
~malia

Nice lady

love the self portrait!

I think this is true for all of us: a part of us seeks God or whatever being we believe in, a part of us seeks companionship of another, and a part of us wants to just get away from everybody and relax and be creative (for you, it was your art and for me it is writing and scrapbooking). The problem with this hectic, fast-paced life is that we are so busy that we never spend time on the things that matter.

This post and Blog have helped me enormously!

Thank you so very much for taking the time and putting such valuable thoughts down.

All the best,

Hugh

girly girl, you are looking fantastic! are you doing yoga and nia?

This is exactly what I needed to read today. And it hit me. Hard.

I envision you in your studio creating away and I smile the biggest smile ever.

P.S. Love that tablecloth - whoever helped you pick that out is GENIUS, I tell you. ;)

Very thought provoking post, it's something I do think about a lot. I get so much inspiration from blogs, and blogging helps me stay focused on my projects, yet there are plenty of times when I have to tell myself to get off the damn computer and go connect with the other people and things in my life.

I received my superhero bullseye necklace in the mail yesterday, it is perfect. Very nicely done, thank you.

I really connect with what you are saying. I would have to say for me it is sometimes a way for me to procrastinate when I feel overwhelmed with a task at hand. It is also at times a way to fill a void.

Anyways, you look great! Great self photo.

I really related to what you said.
I would have to say that for myself, as well, it is the *connection* that I cling to, or run to when there is a void, that loneliness you describe. In saying that, if *we* couldn't connect with one another in this forum we also wouldn't be able to share one another's experiences, knowledge and little bits of wisdom we gather. It is all about balance and recognising what we are doing and how are we doing it? Are we nurturing ourselves and filling the lonely spaces properly?
Thanks for sharing.

Wow... "Art heals..." Isn't it weired that I just got a new job this week for a small charity called "Art & Creativity 4 Healing." I'm thrilled beyond. They hold classes/workshops for those who are in the midst of personal issues.

I know I'm a "healed" person when I'm being creative, even when I don't think I necessarily need it.

Good for you! (ps... love this photo of you by the way. You're just TOO darling!)

Sorry for posting 3x! My keyboard was sticking and I didn't think it posted!!!

Dear Andrea,

I made the same discovery as I joined you for the media cleanse. I was a little shocked to realize how visiting blogs was masking my real need/desire for connection with current close friends and was giving me the feeling of having connection with people I don't really know (you included, actually, but yours is one of the few I'm still visiting post media cleanse because I enjoy your blog so much). :) Part of the problem is that my closest artist friends are all over the U.S., and the other challenge is that as moms, we've so few windows of parallel time to communicate with each other. All this is to say, I was prompted to action after this media cleanse realization to start a private (not for public forum or viewing of our art) blog for a small creative group of moms that includes these two close friends of mine in particular. We are just getting started, but I'm thrilled by the hope of what it could become and how it could encourage not only deeper friendship, but also each of our journeys as moms and as artists.

Thanks, as always, for sharing your insights and your creativity. You're passing the spark along, even to people like me who don't really know you! ;)

Dear Andrea,

I made the same discovery as I joined you for the media cleanse. I was a little shocked to realize how visiting blogs was masking my real need/desire for connection with current close friends and was giving me the feeling of having connection with people I don't really know (you included, actually, but yours is one of the few I'm still visiting post media cleanse because I enjoy your blog so much). :) Part of the problem is that my closest artist friends are all over the U.S., and the other challenge is that as moms, we've so few windows of parallel time to communicate with each other. All this is to say, I was prompted to action after this media cleanse realization to start a private (not for public forum or viewing of our art) blog for a small creative group of moms that includes these two close friends of mine in particular. We are just getting started, but I'm thrilled by the hope of what it could become and how it could encourage not only deeper friendship, but also each of our journeys as moms and as artists.

Thanks, as always, for sharing your insights and your creativity. You're passing the spark along, even to people like me who don't really know you! ;)

Dear Andrea,

I made the same discovery as I joined you for the media cleanse. I was a little shocked to realize how visiting blogs was masking my real need/desire for connection with current close friends and was giving me the feeling of having connection with people I don't really know (you included, actually, but yours is one of the few I'm still visiting post media cleanse because I enjoy your blog so much). :) Part of the problem is that my closest artist friends are all over the U.S., and the other challenge is that as moms, we've so few windows of parallel time to communicate with each other. All this is to say, I was prompted to action after this media cleanse realization to start a private (not for public forum or viewing of our art) blog for a small creative group of moms that includes these two close friends of mine in particular. We are just getting started, but I'm thrilled by the hope of what it could become and how it could encourage not only deeper friendship, but also each of our journeys as moms and as artists.

Thanks, as always, for sharing your insights and your creativity. You're passing the spark along, even to people like me who don't really know you! ;)

yup...I am guilty in the blogging, checking my blackberry thing too...and like someone else mentioned, part of that is because I too have changed my community and my world in the last few months. It can be crazy isolating and scarey and sometimes those feelings of HAVING to find someone familiar are too much to take.

But...as Eckhart Tolle says..it's about living in the moment and learning how to acknowledge those feelings and let them be, and then watch them drop away.

But shit...it's a moment by moment process.

Miss you mate...

xxMartine

yup...I am guilty in the blogging, checking my blackberry thing too...and like someone else mentioned, part of that is because I too have changed my community and my world in the last few months. It can be crazy isolating and scarey and sometimes those feelings of HAVING to find someone familiar are too much to take.

But...as Eckhart Tolle says..it's about living in the moment and learning how to acknowledge those feelings and let them be, and then watch them drop away.

But shit...it's a moment by moment process.

Miss you mate...

xxMartine

this post made me exhale deeply and then say....
YES.

thank you, a.

love
mac x

ps you are too cute in that phto

Andrea, thank you so much for putting all these amazing words together for this post. Oh my goodness, I can't adequately express the profound yet gentle impact of reading your inner experience. "Okay" is wildly underrated. Until now. Thank you for reminding me that it's possible to feel peaceful, centered, and most especially, connected by oneself.

I felt extremely connected to your post today. I am one of those people who simply cannot live without her blackberry and internet. Especially at this phase of my life. I recently had to move from the place I had called home for the last two years, and away from my dearest friends. Now it seems that the only way I can connect with them is through these simple sources of technology.

What I loved especially about your post today was the photograph that came along with it. My best friend and I send pictures like that to eachother constantly. Not only does it allow us to see each other's faces, but where we are at that time of day. Somehow I feel more connected by knowing what the surroundings of a person looks like. Thank you for sharing a bit of your world :)

really thoughtful post.
I love the description of the moment before you reach . . .

I reach for those things (my cell, my email, blogs, TV) because I am unfulfilled. And I know this. Which is why I have recently made some very significant changes in my life.

I thought I would find a sense of fulfillment through a specific path, but that path never manifested. And so, I'm not waiting anymore.

And I'm not spending my days trying to fill in that void with email, blogs and text messages, because even with all of that, I still feel a sense of emptiness and loneliness.

I can try and fill the void with as many external things I can get my paws on, but in the end, until I am doing something with my life and my time that challenges me, that inspires me and that gives me a sense of purpose, I am never going to fill that void.

This superhero is taking flight, baby!

I too have mild anxiety all the time - what's with that? There is a blogging topic right there!

I have to say you are right on the mark here. Sometimes I have to remind myself that there are some flesh and blood people around that I ought to be spending some time with. I have limited myself to 1/2 hour on the computer to check email and my fav blogs (yours included).

um yeah, so, really really profound and articulate post... But the greater message from that photo? That you're Hotttttttttt! hee. Show. Off.

Amen on the fulfillment in art!

How wonderful! I am starting to sew and make my own clothes in my new time away from the internet. It is always valuable to do a self-assessment and learn a little more about one's self. I really hope you share what you are drawing!

Here, here! This is so true and wise and insightful. Thank you for sharing these words and re-introducing us to ourselves through your journey.

You look absolutely mahhhhvelous in that photo!!!

This is exactly how I feel whenever I enter the practice room. I can play in there for 3-4 hours at a time, with no connection to the outside world, and yet still feel whole. I think sometimes we forget how people entertained and full filled themselves before media was invented. It is so much more rewarding and such a deeper, more personal experience.

I think it is about connection for me. And I am very lonely. More lonely than I think I let myself feel. There is a kind of emptiness that comes with trying to fill myself with T.V. or email or blogging. It isn't all empty, but there is something I'm after that I'm not getting and so when I choose to try and obtain it through these methods, they sort of remind me that I'm missing something else. It doesn't feel good.

Drawing. You know, sometimes I feel like a strange person because 1) I dare to dream and put energy into it, and 2) I LOVE the way I feel when I make stuff. I know there are other people in the world who have and who do invest in these things in their lives, but the people in my life just don't (probably where some of that lonliness comes from).

So I adore, and I mean it, I adore reading about someone else describing exactly how I feel when I create - and it is hard to describe with words, isn't it?

And still, I forget! Or maybe sometimes I avoid it because I like it so much that when I do invest it takes up my whole day. I am working right now to change my life in such a way that creating doesn't need to take second place.
Until then,I'm trying to do something each day so that I can really, really be with myself in a sincere way.

Last night I went to the grocery store and picked up a pack of blank index cards (no lines). I opened that pack up last night and drew five different people. I don't know who they are or why I drew them. I hadn't even planned to buy the index cards. I was totally driven by something else inside (my higher self? God? my soul? who knows) saying, "HEY. You need your art." The anxiety left. I didn't need to use words to explain how I was feeling. You could see all of my feelings on the faces of the people in my drawings. It took fifteen minutes to feel less anxious, lonely, and stuck.

hi there, i had recently found your blog and have been clicking and anticipating each day. new post yay! so what you have written today is SO true. i feel myself searching or fishing not really certain what satisfies my self. thank you for taking that leap and maybe we too out here in cyberspace can join in some peace today as well. thanks, kristin

hi there, i had recently found your blog and have been clicking and anticipating each day. new post yay! so what you have written today is SO true. i feel myself searching or fishing not really certain what satisfies my self. thank you for taking that leap and maybe we too out here in cyberspace can join in some peace today as well. thanks, kristin

hi there, i had recently found your blog and have been clicking and anticipating each day. new post yay! so what you have written today is SO true. i feel myself searching or fishing not really certain what satisfies my self. thank you for taking that leap and maybe we too out here in cyberspace can join in some peace today as well. thanks, kristin

oh miz andrea...bryce and i were just discussing
this last nite. a perfect morning pick me up.
i am so excited about sitting withyou in sept and listening to all your words. i know i will be different after that weekend.

peace.
k

Hi Andrea, I've been reading your blog for a while now and don't think I've made any comments yet. Just wanted to say thanks so much for all of the wonderful positive thoughts and energy you put out for us readers. I stumbled upon your blog a few months back and always love checking in to see what words of wisdom and inspiration you have to share. You are very right about the need to feel connected. For me it's also an element of wanting to be connected to the US, as I'm a Massachusetts girl living in the UK with my British husband and 28 month daughter...I'm getting some paint out today though :)
thanks, Hannah

Good for you, we all need more joy!

Good for you, we all need more joy!

Good for you, we all need more joy!

i did not actually do your media cleanse challenge, but i think i was influenced by your posting on it because i have found the tv off, the laptop closed and my hands busy with sewing and embroidery of late. i am a professed knitter, but these different crafts have called to me lately and i am loving the feeling. it seems so simple, the act of drawing threads in out through, and yet, it calms me and connects me to something else. something not me, out of me. i am so glad you found those moments with yourself. you really deserve each second. as do i.

I am laughing at what I "got" from this post: I have a four month old and was mentally calculating how old your cutie is, and when I will have two hours TO ME, not watching tv, or rocking, or typing over her while I nurse, TO ME to do something meditative. SO HAPPY to hear that the time will come!

Andrea, thank you for this post. I didn't participate in your media cleanse week for the one sole reason that I was scared. I was scared of not having any connection that week. I work at a great job, but when I come home, I'm alone. I think I'm picking the wrong hobbies, maybe.

But this post, helps put things into perspective. Thank you. I need to find my art again. Thank you.

Wait -- I'm not the only one who has mild anxiety a lot of the time?

What is it that we're looking for anyhow? This is a very timely post for me today. And if Andrea with her nice husband, and so many friends, can feel this same way I do (who is recently separated, and lost nearly all of her damn friends), then what is the answer? I think it is simple companionship, very essentially, but also maybe something else, too? A sense of connection to the universe, to all that is around us? Or a connection to a larger sense of ourselves? Sometimes I wonder if that is a lot of what connection is, a wanting to be our larger, whole selves. Art helps that through helping us connect to it. We keep getting lost and lonely because we keep becoming just a small part of ourselves again. Something like that perhaps.

I'm really inspired by this...by the way you're so thoughtful about the why and the how of everyday things that I do without thinking - check email once more, turn on the TV to unwind, etc. I'm not quite ready to do a full-on media cleanse, but I can definitely be more mindful about the why and the how of my everyday stuff. Thank you for that reminder.

What did you draw?

i hear this. yes i do!
on a separate note. i wanted to tell you how synchronicitis (spelling? sounds like a disorder that way!) it was that i turned on my bloglines and was reading your email and aimee mann's "superhero" came on like your theme:)

You inspire me :). Okay is a perfect place to be.

Amazing Andrea! Thank you so much. Running does for me what art did for you - I am resolved to go for my run tonight instead of watch television!

Art does heal, and with amazing results! ~from a future art therapist.

I, too, work alone in my studio. Making Art for me is a singular process filled with doubts and uncertainties-- mostly about myself. I've found myself in front of my computer more than my easel occasionally and your words are a great reminder of what I'm really doing then. Thank you.

Whew. Reading that post was like a deep, cleansing breath. I've been trying to wean myself off of the 50,000 blogs I read a day and the Tivo'd tv I watch when I'm nursing. Not a complete media cleanse, but good baby steps for me. :o)

Whew. Reading that post was like a deep, cleansing breath. I've been trying to wean myself off of the 50,000 blogs I read a day and the Tivo'd tv I watch when I'm nursing. Not a complete media cleanse, but good baby steps for me. :o)

hello dear!
so i read your media cleansing post awhile back, and wanted to do it that week...but i wanted to watch such and such movie, etc etc...and i didn't. But, the past two weeks i have experienced more of the 'grasping' than usual, and then started having nightmares and extreme restless sleep. so i thought enough was enough. i stay at home and create full time now and live alone in a small town, so the grasping is common..especially after a glass of two of wine.

this past weekend (i started off slow) I decided to start with a silent weekend. i turned off all music, phone ringers, text messaging alerts, tv, etc. The first night the nightmares still came. the 2nd night the same. and then sunday night a miracle!...8 hours of amazing sleep and beautiful, creative, living on the beach dreams.
The productivity of no distractions is lovely too. I made a complete new, organized art studio, actually cleaned my kitchen, read crafty magazines, and went to bed early every night.
So, i'm glad you posted the post...even though i was delayed in participating.

hope you are well! i'm loving the pics of ben these days...he is growing so fast!

much love, celisa

Amen sister. I hear you on this. I ask myself this same question and get the same answer...it's about connection and filling the void I feel in an empty house most of the day. It's about ESCAPE, too, for me anyway. Escaping to something that might offer me what I am not getting in reality. Anyway, great thoughts.

AND, I LOVE MY PENDANT! It arrived yesterday and it is awesome. Thanks so much.