May 21, 2008
anniversary, art and the question of the week
Me and Matt, Burning Man, 2000, Canon Elph SD1000
This is Matt and me at Burning Man in 2000, only hours after selling each other at the Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet. If you haven't been to Burning Man, you should know that it's a big art festival in Nevada. A temporary city erected in the middle of the desert, for one week each year, full of theme camps, art installations, costumes and beautiful freaks. Some of the most extraordinary art you could ever see is built out there (and then ceremoneously burned on the last night of the festival)
Every time I begin to describe Burning Man I feel like words fail me. The experience is so big, so expansive, so colorful, so outrageous... it's difficult to do it justice. I will say that everyone who goes to Burning Man is transformed by it. But this isn't a post about Burning Man, it's about Matt! and the fact that we are celebrating our fifth anniversary this week. Happy anniversary honey!
Matt and I were a part of a big theme camp called Glitter Camp and on the morning this photo was taken we both woke up early and took a walk. We came across the Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet. It was the equivalent of a dating service and they took your photo and had you fill out an elaborate interview in order to match you up with a soul mate. The only catch was that you had to bring a soulmate to trade. Matt and I traded each other.
Needless to say, we didn't go back the next day to see who our "soulmate" was. It was one of those cases of the truth, the joy, the answer being right under your nose. In my case, there was something I had to let go of in order to truly see Matt. I suspect it had something to do with letting go of the fantasy I carried about who I supposed to be with, what he looked like or acted like, some unreachable thing I would likely never find. Being out of my element in this brand new universe allowed me to shed some of that stuff that held me back, and without those walls, there was Matt- handsome, creative, funny and just perfect for me.
Matt looking alarmingly similar to a dragon sculpture, Chiang Mai, Thailand, Canon Elph SD1000
What can you let go of in order to manifest that good thing in your life?
p.s. I will be away for the week shooting an event in Puerto Rico. Wahoo!
Posted on May 21, 2008 09:18 AMhxyctrdf ksbfpemjn umes ohag iczga japkdyet txgpl
Posted by: gxbcyfuds xikwqz at September 5, 2008 08:20 AMhxyctrdf ksbfpemjn umes ohag iczga japkdyet txgpl
Posted by: gxbcyfuds xikwqz at September 5, 2008 08:19 AMhxyctrdf ksbfpemjn umes ohag iczga japkdyet txgpl
Posted by: gxbcyfuds xikwqz at September 5, 2008 08:18 AMi absolutely love this photo.
it tells a fun and adventurous story of you two.
xo
Posted by: boho girl at May 30, 2008 06:58 AMBeing perfect, being the best, being like others!
Posted by: Fatemeh at May 30, 2008 12:44 AMHi Andrea! you two are too cute an I wish you many years of shared happiness. I have been following your website for two years or more and you are always a good source of inspiration. reading your blog and looking at your pics always awakes my creative spirit hidden somewhere. regarding your question, i let go my secure job in sales marketing for a developer. I was with the company for the past few years. Thinking about going solo for about two years and finally things were given in a weird way that both my boss and I decided to let go, no anesthesia. I am starting a cleaning business which will offer environmentally conscious and toxic free cleaning.this new venture really aligns with my vision and values and I am eager to make this big change in my life!
Posted by: ivana at May 29, 2008 06:04 PMWow, 5 years!! I can't believe it, especially since I started reading your online journal since about the beginning...amazing how fast 5 years fly by!
On another note, there was an article in the New Yor Times magazine on Sunday written by a young woman who did the whole blog thing (which my mother totally doesn't understand). It really makes me wonder how some people are successful at this whole thing like you are and some people aren't. I think your intent is right on target in that you're trying to bring good things to this whole process and not tear things down. I am certainly not conveying what I really mean here, but part of what I think I'm trying to say is that while you're putting some pretty personal stuggles here, you're doing it in such a way that people can comment and feel validated in some the things they, we, are going through too....
So many congrats on the anniversary, and I'm just thrilled that there are three of you now (a tribe!) and not just two you you anymore....
Posted by: Jennifer at May 27, 2008 03:33 PMHello Andrea - I was wondering how to get in touch with you about doing some life coaching. i'd really be interested in talking with you and exploring some thoughts and questions i have with you (you seem like such a kindred spirit!), and also have some questions about you know, the cost and all those details. Could you contact me at my email and tell me if its possible to chat either by phone or by email?
seattlejesse@yahoo.com
Thanks so much!
Jesse
What a cool pic, you two look great together. I'm just now reading a book by Jennifer Cox where she finds her soul mate at the Costco tent at Burning Man! Serendipity word. I highly recommend her book, it's very cool! :-)
Happy anniversary!!!
Posted by: iHanna at May 27, 2008 03:04 AMI went to Burning Man in 2001. I remember walking around by myself my first day there and having an overwhelming feeling of "coming home". I would love to go back but I think it would make my husband miserable (the sun and the heat would be too much for him) and I wouldn't want to go without him.
What I am trying to let go of is guilt. Guilt for not getting the house clean, guilt for letting my daughter cry even though I know I have done everything I can to make her comfortable and sometimes babies just cry. Guilt for not writing enough. I carry it around with me like a weight on my shoulders.
Posted by: melanie at May 26, 2008 02:22 PMI am willing to give up being a "know it all". I haven't been called that in decades...but in thinking about an answer...this is what surfaced.
Posted by: LD in PDX at May 26, 2008 09:54 AMYour question gave me goosebumps! I have been trying to write out my fear through my blog today. The fear that I lose perspective quickly and create the thing I don't want - that I end or sabbotage a relationship because of the fear of it ending. I undertsand that I am letting this control me and my happiness.
How to let it go?
Happy anniversary :)
Happy Anniversary!
Oh, my if you like Burning Man, The Rainbow Family Gathering would be right up your alley!
We're going this year(1st week in July)...along with some 30,000 others. We'll be setting up camp in Kid Village.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainbow_Gathering
That is a great "how we met" story!
As for the question - maybe it is insecurity? I'm going to give this some thought.
Posted by: kimberly/tippytoes at May 23, 2008 07:36 PMhappy anniversary!
beautiful picture! he IS perfect for you,
i can feel it.
i am willing to let go of the harsh judgement
i sometimes put on myself.
*i am a wise spirit and have all the answers i need inside, i am right where i am supposed to be*
(my mantra)
have a great time in pr!
man you have been busy with your photography-
wonderful!
love
mccabe x
the dream of one day being with the ex again...
Posted by: jessica at May 23, 2008 02:23 PMWhat serendipity to find myself here, after writing a poem on my blog called "How to let go" - what you write about resonates deeply with some of the choices and decisions I'm looking at presently, and reminds me that probably the thing I need to let go of the most is the thing I have the hardest time giving up: Control.
thanks, Andrea.
congrats on your anniversary!
make sure you go to El Yunque while you are in PR. and also La Bombanera, in Old San Juan. enjoy!
Posted by: allegra at May 23, 2008 04:09 AMFirstly: Happy 5th anniversary! Five years! You two are an inspiration. Plain. Simple.
Secondly, I can't help but quote one of my favorites: "We must be willing to let go of the life we've planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." -- Joseph Campbell
Whenever I have been smart enough to embrace those words, amazingness has found its way to me. So I'm trying once again. Bring it on, life!
Posted by: christine at May 22, 2008 10:07 PMFirstly: Happy Anniversary! You two are an inspiration. Plain. Simple.
Secondly, I have no choice but to quote one of my favorites: "We must be willing to let go of the life we've planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us."
Whenever I take that quote to heart, amazing things find their way to me.
Bring it on, life!
Posted by: christine at May 22, 2008 10:05 PMHappy 5th! And ditto on Burning Man... it's so hard to describe. A dear friend of mine told me about it in pictures. The next summer, I was there. And I knew exactly what he had meant.
Posted by: Heather España at May 22, 2008 09:00 PMAndrea, I want to thank you for this question. The thing that I am willing to let go of is the idea of perfection.
Once I have answered this question, somehow deep inside me, I started letting go.
I used to think that I have to be a certain way in order to achieve something. But with your question, I have asked myself, "What if I can let go of the idea that I need to be A in order to achieve B? What if I am willing to achieve something "imperfectly" in order to get my gear up and accomplish stuff?"
It really got me going and the new role that I am in now for 2 months for once, doesn't seem as painful or awkward. It seems kind of... fun.
So thank you Andrea. Who knows, perhaps you have helped me turn the corner and now I'm able to manage my new role with renewed optimism!
Posted by: Faith Teo at May 22, 2008 08:40 AMthis time the answer is so clear to me, I have to write it out loud:
ANXIETY
happy anniversary!
happy 5th matt and andrea! you are a beautiful couple.
ps: love my mother's day necklace!
amanda
oh, boy. this post really hits home for me. i am currently struggling with the fact that my boyfriend, wonderful man that he is, would prefer not to have children. not absolutely no, but he's always been honest that he just isn't sure he will ever want to enough to take that leap of faith. i do want to, someday. and i know that the longer we stay together, the harder it will be to walk away from him, from how good of a partner he is to me. so can i let go of my desire to know for sure my partner will want to be a parent, and really commit to him regardless of whether i wouldn't get to realize that own personal dream. i just don't know...
Posted by: e at May 21, 2008 11:27 PMI love your blog. When I have the chance to read it I always find something transformative and inspirational. Usually, just when I need it most.
Posted by: nicole at May 21, 2008 08:02 PMI love your blog. When I have the chance to read it I always find something transformative and inspirational. Usually, just when I need it most.
Posted by: nicole at May 21, 2008 08:02 PMi can let go of the sadness or anger (i can't decide which it is) about the things i am not able to do since my accident. thank you for asking. the timing was perfect.. as are the smiles on you and your husbands faces. take care on your travels.
Posted by: amy at May 21, 2008 04:32 PMI love that picture of the two of you.
Posted by: sweetsalty kate at May 21, 2008 04:16 PMHappy Anniversary to you! SO exciting!
Thank you (from the bottom of my heart) for this question of the week. Feels like you have been reading my mind! It's been a week of pondering where I should be and live and asking myself similar questions to what you have presented here.
Cheers to you and your sweet life!
Oh dear jesus! Has it been five whole years since you got married? It seems like just yesterday. I literally remember the desk I was sitting in, atthe job I totally hated when I was reading about your wedding. You said "Keep us in your hearts tomorrow, we're going to do it." Or something like that. Anyway, WOW. Congratulations!! You just totally blew my mind :) Yay you guys!
Posted by: Meg at May 21, 2008 02:01 PMA doll. A living doll. Make that two. Er, three.
Posted by: Karen at May 21, 2008 02:01 PMI can let go of my need to control my surroundings.
Posted by: Andrea de Haan at May 21, 2008 01:55 PMhow do you know when your vision of what you want is to be let go of, and when it is to guide you? esp. in the realm of relationship.. this leaves me confused (as I'm likely to be on many a day.. :)
I get what you mean, the difference between the fantasy and the real live person, but how do you know inside when it's right?
I think that's what I have to let go of: self-doubt!
It was just like that for me. My husband and I are about to celebrate our first anniversary and the past year has been the happiest of my life--but to get here I had to give up on old ideas of how things were "supposed to" work out, not to mention the approval of someone close to me.
Posted by: Leah at May 21, 2008 12:38 PMMany Congratulations!
To let go of: the picture that tells me I know what this should all look like..because so far, it's been wrong :)
Posted by: lucy at May 21, 2008 11:33 AMmany many many congratulations to you both!!! yah for you guys!!
i am letting go of my need to have what i want in a hurry....things come into their own at their own time.
Posted by: celisa at May 21, 2008 11:29 AMFear
...of rejection
...of failure
...of change
Posted by: Belinda at May 21, 2008 11:26 AMI have to let go of all the things I've already accomplished. It's easy to say, "Look, how far I've come." But, if I don't keep growing and changing, then that means very little. And so I have to stop resting on my laurels and get back to work! Onward.
Posted by: Jolie at May 21, 2008 10:53 AMMy Pride.
Posted by: lisaluckie at May 21, 2008 10:04 AMHappy Anniversary!!
-letting go. goodness, i feel that i've let so much go these laste couple of weeks already, but reading your question made me realize that there's still a bit left to let go of, now all i need to do is find out what that is :)
Have a marvelous time in Puerto Rico!!
- Silvia
Posted by: dreamergirl at May 21, 2008 10:02 AM