June 20, 2008
what you don't see
Ben, modeling for Speesees, photo by me, Canon Rebel Xti
Ben, modeling for Speesees, photo by me, Canon Rebel Xti
What you don't see on the other side of this is me, jumping up and down in bare feet, trying to make faces, yelling Stay on the paper! Put that down! Don't put that in your mouth! Ben! Look up here! Stay on the paper!!!
What you don't see is the terrible sleep we had the night before, how Ben cried at 2 am, yet even after I fed him he still cried on and off for several hours more. One of those nights when I needed sleep so badly and just couldn't take it anymore, so I put in earplugs and tried to block him out and put Matt on duty.
What you don't see is Matt playing guitar sweetly for Ben next to me so that he stops and stares in wonder at the strings, the sounds, at his magical dada.
You don't see the meltdowns between shots, the pulling of the little girl's barette, the obsession with putting his finger in other kids' mouths, the crying over wanting to take the toys home, how we bribed him with grapes, the battle over putting the apple that was really a pencil sharpener in his mouth.
This is the magic of photography. And the magic of editing your photos to look back on years from now. They only tell the story you want to tell... And even though they don't always have the gory details, there is something just as true about them. The sweetness in Ben's face, his pure joy at holding a ukulele, the sparkle in his eye... all true.
Posted on June 20, 2008 08:04 AMI think what makes Ben so beautiful is probably the richness of his personality which operates as a subtext to his image on film. He's very alive, and engaged, not to mention adorable.
I love this more mature photos--he's such got so much BEN in there!
Posted by: Pamela at June 26, 2008 01:59 AMAndrea, these pics are lovely. He's gotten so big!!!
Posted by: kristen fischer at June 25, 2008 08:34 AMI wanna see it all!! :)
Posted by: Sandra Flear at June 25, 2008 05:24 AMIS his guitar broken?!
That is so sad =[
He's adorable by the way.
HAHAHA! I was just there last Friday trying to get my one-year old to smile for his birthday pictures. Oh the hopping, peek-a-boo, spinning in circles and a few goldfish snacks that were required. But all is well and good for those precious smiles, however I do make sure to take some of the not so "perfect" pics on my own for my scrapbook for memory sake.
Posted by: Tamara at June 23, 2008 08:07 PMHAHAHA! I was just there last Friday trying to get my one-year old to smile for his birthday pictures. Oh the hopping, peek-a-boo, spinning in circles and a few goldfish snacks that were required. But all is well and good for those precious smiles, however I do make sure to take some of the not so "perfect" pics on my own for my scrapbook for memory sake.
Posted by: Tamara at June 23, 2008 08:07 PMHAHAHA! I was just there last Friday trying to get my one-year old to smile for his birthday pictures. Oh the hopping, peek-a-boo, spinning in circles and a few goldfish snacks that were required. But all is well and good for those precious smiles, however I do make sure to take some of the not so "perfect" pics on my own for my scrapbook for memory sake.
Posted by: Tamara at June 23, 2008 08:07 PMThis post reminds me of my sister. My brother took photos of my sister's little baby when he was 4 months old.. whenever we look at that photo we start laughing, cause we remember how we were jumping and giggling and trying EVERYTHING to get him to smile! It was hilerious! I think we had more fun than him or the photographer!
Beautiful photos... reminds me of honesty/purity! xx
Posted by: linni at June 23, 2008 12:41 PMLOL... have you been spying on me? That just about describes part of what I go through every day...times 2 (2 kids) But as hard and as stressful as it is, it's the best! Nothing like the hugs and kisses your kids give you....and when they tell you they love you...fugget about it..hee, hee... :)
xoxo glo
Posted by: Glo at June 23, 2008 12:41 PMLOL... have you been spying on me? That just about describes part of what I go through every day...times 2 (2 kids) But as hard and as stressful as it is, it's the best! Nothing like the hugs and kisses your kids give you....and when they tell you they love you...fugget about it..hee, hee... :)
xoxo glo
Posted by: Glo at June 23, 2008 12:39 PMLOL... have you been spying on me? That just about describes part of what I go through every day...times 2 (2 kids) But as hard and as stressful as it is, it's the best! Nothing like the hugs and kisses your kids give you....and when they tell you they love you...fugget about it..hee, hee... :)
xoxo glo
Posted by: Glo at June 23, 2008 12:38 PMthank you for sharing this andrea, i often take a few hundred photographs at a gig before i get the right one...and with kids it is often a circus act, which makes having an assistant or a husband to help a total bonus.
these shots of ben by the way, are totally dazzling.... i love what you are doing with the white back drop and how his baby blues just sparkle like water...
xoxox
jen
I have been reading your blog for a long time now. I really enjoy it. We've emailed once before. You were the inspiration for me starting to journal more regularly while I was pregnant. I have been writing online since 2000 and stumbling across your site helped me start writing again.
Anyhow, I wanted to invite you to check out a new collaborative effort. I haven't had a great number of signups yet, but am hoping to. Wondered if you might be interested in contributing or if you know anyone who would. The website is The Eclectic One. If you have a minute in your day to check it out, I would be grateful. Thanks.
Posted by: Samia at June 23, 2008 06:38 AMFound one of our eldest son's first-ever tee-shirts the other day. He's bigger than I am now, couldn't even wear it as a glove. Funny thing is, I can remember holding him in my hands, but I am still amazed at how small he was. Sometimes it's the details in a photograph, the ones you don't even notice to edit, that make it precious. Those clothes, that furniture, or even, that house. And by the way, from the sound of your picture-taking sessions, have you thought to give Ben his first camera? His record of you would be fun to have.
Posted by: William at June 23, 2008 12:44 AMWhat a great post. This is so true with life in general. Is it Ariel who says don't judge your insides by someone else's outsides? It's so true.
Posted by: Meg at June 22, 2008 08:59 PMBeen there, done that with my boys...Jelly Bellies are my ultimate picture taking bribery tool now. They will do anything for them! Love the clothes, colours, patterns, so sweet. I have a book contest on for a signed Style Statement book, I think you would like it. It's my new obsession...hopefully it will bring some artistic focus to my chaos! www.snickerdoodles.typepad.com
Posted by: kerry at June 22, 2008 08:42 PMBeen there, done that with my boys...Jelly Bellies are my ultimate picture taking bribery tool now...they'll do anything for them! Love the clothes, colours, patterns, so sweet. I have a book contest on for a sighned Style Statement book, I think you would like it. It's my new obsession...hopefully it will bring some artistic focus to my chaos! www.snickerdoodles.typepad.com
Posted by: kerry at June 22, 2008 08:40 PMBeen there, done that with my boys...Jelly Bellies are my ultimate picture taking bribery tool now...they'll do anything for them! Love the clothes, colours, patterns, so sweet. I have a book contest on for a sighned Style Statement book, I think you would like it. It's my new obsession...hopefully it will bring some artistic focus to my chaos! www.snickerdoodles.typepad.com
Posted by: kerry at June 22, 2008 08:40 PMBeen there, done that with my boys...Jelly Bellies are my ultimate picture taking bribery tool now...they'll do anything for them! Love the clothes, colours, patterns, so sweet. I have a book contest on for a sighned Style Statement book, I think you would like it. It's my new obsession...hopefully it will bring some artistic focus to my chaos! www.snickerdoodles.typepad.com
Posted by: kerry at June 22, 2008 08:40 PMyou have no idea how much value I get from you speaking about the real 'behind the scenes' sort of stuff. I think if more and more women talk about the messy and imperfect, more and more women will let go of the stress of trying to be 'perfect.
you have no idea how much value I get from you speaking about the real 'behind the scenes' sort of stuff. I think if more and more women talk about the messy and imperfect, more and more women will let go of the stress of trying to be 'perfect.
I remember sometimes you wrote about money,
have you seen this site:
http://brentkessel.com/?page=tools
I think the 'what you don't see' credo applies to more people than we realize....
Posted by: Jennifer at June 21, 2008 11:19 AMHe's so cute! This post reminds me of when I look at my blog sometimes and I think about how much of my life is edited out. I guess we all do it though.
Posted by: Anali at June 21, 2008 10:31 AMSome of us repeat this kind of scenario well into adulthood. We rush out headlong into the world, showing the image we wish to project. Often no one sees that inside we're having a personal temper tantrum or adding to the river of tears beneath our cheery exterior. We're wanting our lives to be like someone else's, or thinking that things aren't fair, wanting what we don't have. When we're back within our own four walls, we may let it all out, but we don't feel any better. There's no one to be "on duty" while we melt down or, if there is, they can't really make us feel better; they can only distract us for awhile!
I guess we never really grow up in some ways. At least, not until we discover how we can change our thoughts, not until we turn inward and do the hard work that's necessary.
Your blogs always make me think! I love that about them.
Isn't it true that most of what we do have 'gory details'? Sometimes we want to forget them, but sometimes its wonderful to remember them. Especially from a distance. :-)
Posted by: Michele at June 21, 2008 06:24 AMYou take pictures of the other stuff too, don't you? I think I remember a picture of him crying...
I take occasional pictures of hissy fits because it tells more of the story.
the behind-the-scenes definitely puts life into perspective.
Posted by: Emily at June 20, 2008 05:20 PMThank you for sharing the story behind these gorgeous photos ~ He is looking even more adorable everyday! xo
Posted by: Alex aka Gypsy at June 20, 2008 03:00 PMThanks for sharing the real deal with us, Andrea! I also just wanted to say that I REALLY wanted to go to Squam and get to be in your workshop, and when I discovered that due to other factors I would not be able to go, I was so disappointed I just cried and cried. It just has felt like an either/or deal in terms of being a mom and an artist. However, a little voice inside reminded me that if I would make a more daily investment in my art and writing, I wouldn't set myself up in such a feast-or-famine mentality. Anyway, motherhood is such a learning experience, isn't it? Certainly for how we care for our children - but also in what we learn about ourselves, too! Adorable boy, that Ben!
P.S. A close friend of mine, also an artist and mom, will be coming with me on our own little artist-mom beach retreat soon. It's not Squam, but it's what we can do right now, and I know it will be great! Thanks for the inspiration!
Posted by: Carole at June 20, 2008 02:33 PMIf I were to get to see that face, that sparkle everyday, I know I would have a life that was complete. What a little gem this boy is. I can only dream of the joy your life is filled with!
Thanks so much for always sharing your truths...
Posted by: jill at June 20, 2008 12:57 PMWhat a great commentary on so much of our lives, no? What we don't see often are the tears, the jumping up and down, wanting to put so much forbidden fruit (and other stuff) into our mouths (and minds and hearts)... and the pure joy and sparkle that rise to the surface anyway. And what we don't see makes that which is visible that much more wondrous.
Ben really is gorgeous!
Posted by: GailNHB at June 20, 2008 12:31 PMAndrea,
Your truth, your wisdom, your sense of spirit spill out on the page. The best pictures of your Ben and my Christopher are their most candid, these candid moments. Photography like childbirth when reflected upon stir up the magical, beautiful moments and the pain/pursuit of what sought fall to the wayside.
Trish
Posted by: Patricia at June 20, 2008 10:04 AMit's clear that your desire to capture ben's truth was more powerful than the "gory details" of the situation. his truth is beautiful, and you are magical!
Posted by: emily at June 20, 2008 09:58 AMthat is hilarious and totally adorable
ALL true. :-)
Posted by: Chookooloonks at June 20, 2008 09:37 AM