Happy Birthday Caleb!

Caleb, Canon Digital Rebel

It's official! I'm Auntie Andrea now.
Happy birthday little Caleb. And a huge congratulations to my sweet sister and brother in law.

baby feet, Canon Digital Rebel

yellow and blue

yellow and blue, Canon Digital Rebel

Random site that made me laugh today: Crying While Eating

Random confession of the day: When I say, "I'm going to see so and so today!" and you say, "Oh really! Tell them hello for me." I never really do.

Random exercise of the day:
1. Think of someone you admire.
2. Now think about why you think they are so wonderful.

3. Take your time.

4. Notice that these are qualities that you in fact possess right now.

waiting

Kim's belly & Liam, Canon Digital Rebel

Waiting for both my sister and my dear friend Kim to have their babies this week. Every time the phone rings I get a little butterfly in my stomach.

{I love that both Kim and Liam's bellies are showing in this photo}

"Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body."
-Elizabeth Stone

wonder

the most gorgeous coastline in California, Canon Digital Rebel

"Wonder is the basis of worship." Francis Bacon

Happy Anniversary baby!

Andrea & Matt, Santa Barbara, May 25th 2003, Photo by Rikka Zimmerman

It's our 2nd wedding anniversary today.
I am the luckiest girl around.

"He loved her for almost everything she was & she decided that was enough to let him stay for a very long time." -Brian Andreas
 

monkey business

the curve of the earth, Canon Digital Rebel

Hey folks, you know how I mentioned in this post that they were going to auction off the right to name the new primate my friend filmed? Well I've got some good news and bad news.

The good news is that the name was auctioned for $650,000 which all goes to help conserving their habitat. The bad news is that a casino bought it and it will be called the GoldenPalace.com monkey.

Yes. It's true.
You are not reading the The Onion.

P.S. In creating a link for the Onion, I saw this very silly headline on their site that made me laugh: New, Delicious Species Discovered.

To Big Sur with love

wildflowers, Canon Digital Rebel

We just got back from Big Sur. The beauty there is so big and so wild and grand, it's hard to hold. I kept closing my eyes and then opening them again, trying to really take it in. The wildflowers were in bloom, the sun was shining and the air was so clean and fragrant. Coming from the city, it was a euphoric transition.

I have a game called Intuitive Solutions (a game that I highly recommend buying) and as a part of my daily meditation, I've been drawing cards from it. Before I left town I got a card about pleasure which really resonated for me. How is it that we forget about pleasure? {SARK actually wrote a a wonderful book on pleasure called Eat Mangoes Naked because so many of us forget about it.}

The weekend was all about the pleasure of nature, of hiking until you are sweaty and out of breath, hiking until you are up so high on the mountain that when you look back at the view, it seems you can see every ocean. The pleasure of the soft colors of sunset, the purple of the sand, and the fierceness of the waves. The joy of friendship and the simplicity of storytelling, sipping scotch and playing Boggle into the wee hours of the night. The joy of sitting in a cabin with no phone or radio, no tv or clocks and being woken up by the gobble of wild turkeys just outside.

The pleasure of seeing your partner with fresh eyes, {vacation eyes} and remembering why you love them so much.

The exquisite pleasure of an orange, shared between four in the car, after several hours of hiking in the sun. The pleasure of a tired body after a day of play, of sore thighs and a tinge of sunburn.

On our hike, Deb showed me a patch of grasses that were all dusty and grey sitting in the middle of the trail. She said that the rodents clean out their home each year and put all of the things they've collected outside again. I forgot that the impulse for spring cleaning is an instinct shared by all animals and decided to take the rodent's lead.

The first thing I did when we got home was go straight up to my room and empty the contents of my dresser. I ended up filling five bags full of clothing I hadn't worn in a year or more and now have drawers that actually close effortlessly. I stepped into the bathroom and found Matt with the clippers in hand, shaving his head and letting go of 8 inches or more of locks that he had been collecting for the last couple of years.

I think we both feel lighter, like we let go of something symbolically, like there is more space for new pleasures and joys to come in.

What can you let go of this spring?

Self Portrait Day

self portrait, Canon Digital Rebel

Just found a great new site called Self Portrait Day {via Heather}

weekend in the woods

The Weepies in my kitchen, Polaroid SX-70

We're off for a long weekend with friends. A cabin in the woods near the ocean no less! Matt and I are also celebrating our 2 year wedding anniversary!

Some excellent artists to visit while we're away:
Camille Engman rocks. Be sure to visit her blog as well.

Beautiful illustrated journals by Henrik Drescher. I like that I can see my last name in his.

Rena Tom is a jewelry designer who recently moved from SF to Brooklyn. She makes beautiful things. I only wish I knew her when she lived here!

Just bought Gayla's new book You Grow Girl. Very excited to learn to garden. I have never grown anything in my entire life and grew up in a plantless house. Can you believe it? I didn't know you could grow food in your backyard until recently.

My favorite site for baby gifts is Black Wagon. How can you resist an ACDC onesie?

Alison Bank's photos make me happy. She will inspire you.

I just discovered that the talented woman who photographed my wedding {Rikka Zimmerman} is also a country singer! You can see her new site here and hear her clips on Itunes.

I just got Ali Edward's book, A Designer's Eye for Scrapbooking and want to immediately gather all of my old photos and make them into beautiful stories. Ali and Carrie Colbert have given me a whole new idea of what scrapbooking is. This ain't your grandmother's scrapbook ladies!
..........

And I know I posted this quote recently, but I need to drill it into my head. I think if we could all really get this, our lives would transform.

"The lesson which life repeats and constantly enforces is "look under foot." You are always nearer the divine and the true sources of your power than you think. The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are. Do not despise your own place and hour. Every place is under the stars, every place is the center of the world."
-John Burroughs

the magic

me and Ben, Olympus Epic

I loved our discussion about destiny and manifesting in the last post. Thank you everyone! It made me think of the time {about 9 years ago} when I was working at a clothing store. I was discussing Ben Harper's music with a customer {I am a HUGE fan} and I said to him, "There are artists that you love and there are artists you want to meet. I want to meet Ben Harper."

A few hours later, when I finished my shift, I took a different route home. I decided I needed a little exercise and walked about 10 blocks out of my way to catch a different bus. As I hopped on the Fillmore 22, I noticed that Ben Harper was sitting right next to me. I couldn't believe my eyes... Not only does the universe provide, but at times it works so quickly. I think of this story when I want to remind myself of the magic.

{The photo above is actually of the second time I met him. Have you ever seen a bigger smile? Another story for another time.}

happy friday the 13th!

itsy bitsy spider, Canon Digital Rebel

A friend of mine named Ian Kellett just did something truly amazing. He is a film student at Montana State University and was the first person to film a new species of monkey in the Bolivian Amazon. A brand new species! You can check out a great article about it here and a picture of the monkeys here. They are actually auctioning off the right to name this new species of titi monkey to raise money for the national park where it was discovered.

One of the most inspiring parts of this story however, is that over 10 years ago, when he wrote his college entrance essay, he described his ideal scene. He wrote about what he would love to be doing 10 years from now and said, "I would love to be hiking through the jungle with a group of scientists discovering a new species." And that's exactly what happened 10 years later.

I am so inspired by this story... and it brings up an interesting question. Do we manifest these things in our lives? Did Ian have this desire and therefore create a reality which included this special dream? Did he work tirelessly his entire life so that this set of circumstances would appear?

Or was it his destiny all along? and he had some intuitive sense of that. And when he wrote this essay, he was tapping into a truth that was already written.

Such big questions for a friday. Maybe we should be relaxing.

But I'm curious. Do you believe we create our world completely based on our free will or is there some destiny in the mix?

"There is nothing like a dream to create the future."
-Victor Hugo

enough

hot pink, Canon Digital Rebel

Everything is perfect.
You are doing enough.
You are exactly where you need to be.

treasures

couch graffiti, Canon Digital Rebel

My friend Sabrina and I did a walk from the book Stairway Walks in San Francisco recently and now I'm hopelessly addicted. I walked for hours yesterday in a neighborhood I walk in almost daily, but had never seen all of its nooks and crannies. Seems we walk the same well worn path all the time and forget that right around the corner are new delights. {hello, nice metaphor}

I felt like I was traveling in a new city on a treasure hunt. Maybe you saw me yesterday? I was the girl grinning from ear to ear, sweating like crazy taking photos of dirty couches.

She's gone where the goblins go...

the wicked witch, Canon Digital Rebel

Ding dong, the wicked witch is dead!

Happy Mother's Day!

Caroline & Matthew, Canon Digital Rebel

The photos above are of my sister and her husband Matthew who are expecting a little boy in the next few weeks. I will be an aunt soon! and that is very exciting.

Happy day to all of you. I know that Mother's Day can mean different things to different people. It's not always the easiest day on the calendar for some, and I want to honor those of you who have a difficult time with this holiday. Blessings to all of the moms, the moms to be, and the moms of spirit we are surrounded by.

prayer

house and sky, Canon Digital Rebel

Morning Poem
Every morning
the world
is created. 
Under the orange
sticks of the sun
the heaped
ashes of the night
turn into leaves again
and fasten themselves to the high branches ---
and the ponds appear
like black cloth
on which are painted islands
of summer lilies. 
If it is your nature
to be happy
you will swim away along the soft trails
for hours, your imagination
alighting everywhere. 
And if your spirit
carries within it
the thorn
that is heavier than lead ---
if it's all you can do
to keep on trudging ---
there is still
somewhere deep within you
a beast shouting that the earth
is exactly what it wanted ---
each pond with its blazing lilies
is a prayer heard and answered
lavishly, 
every morning, 
whether or not
you have ever dared to be happy, 
whether or not
you have ever dared to pray. 
. . . . . . . . .  

'Dream Work'
 by Mary Oliver

"Whether or not you have ever dared to pray..." I love that line. People have asked me about my religious beliefs and although they are not totally formulated, nor do they rest with any one particular team, they are passionate and deep.

I am Jewish, but often choose to sit at a progressive Methodist church called Glide on Sundays. {I actually sit with two of my dear friends who are also Jewish. We call ourselves the Jews in the Pews!} I do this for a lot of reasons. I go because the gospel music there stirs my heart and makes me feel holy. I go because sometimes it's so beautiful, tears pour down my face {come to think of it, every time I go it has this effect} and other times it makes me stand up and shake my booty.

I go because it gets me present, it gets me down in the moment, and it gets me in touch with my spirit. I go because we all need a space to pray and to pray in community is a powerful thing.

I also go because it is raucous there. There is cheering and shouting from the pews when the music particularly moves us. You'll hear a "Right on!" or "Hallelujah!" when the speaker says something that inspires us. I hear whoops of joy, I hear laughter, and I see a beautiful cross section of San Francisco seated with me. Every race, every age, every sexual orientation, every class, every religion, is welcome and celebrated there. I love looking at the constellation of faces in the choir and seeing the diversity there. This is what San Francisco is all about and one of the reasons I choose to be here. I love being part of a place that is so inclusive.

Besides the incredible people who speak there regularly, there are also special guests of poets, teenagers from the community sharing their stories, and even the occasional rockstar. I have heard Maya Angelou, Oprah Winfrey, and Sharon Stone speak there. Lately, I have been most inspired by a new minister named Karen Junker.

But back to that line about daring to pray. I've never identified with a particular religion, but prayer in some form has always resonated for me. I think I've been praying for a long time and calling it other things. 'Manifesting', 'asking the universe for help', 'sending out good energy'. All the lists I've ever written that have gone into magic boxes are prayers. All of those paintings done in a fury of emotion, all of those mornings spent writing, all of those drawings-- deep prayers. Or the time I wrote that letter, the one that was so difficult to write, and afterwards I dropped it into the fire. A prayer of letting go.

There is a line in a Rumi poem that I've always loved, "There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground."

Perhaps you pick up a musical instrument or sing in the shower, maybe you take your dog to the puppy park and bask in the joy of unconditional dog love, maybe you hike in the woods, practice yoga or volunteer at the soup kitchen. Maybe you salsa dance into the wee hours of the night.

This is all worship. This is all prayer. Laughter is prayer and also tears. I think prayer is about honoring life, about being alive, about worshiping our own aliveness in the world & feeling a connection to spirit and to others.
.......

How do you pray?

Only you

Mission St. lanterns, Canon Digital Rebel

I'm swimming in a sea of Mother's Day orders. Little colorful bits of glass dance in my head as I sleep. So many superhero moms this year!

Will hopefully get back to writing soon. For now, I will leave you with a quote from one of my favorite people in the world, Gordon Mackenzie.
"If you go to your grave
  without painting
  your masterpiece,
    it will not
    get painted.
    No one else
    can paint it.
        Only you.
           —Gordon MacKenzie, Orbiting the Giant Hairball

Congratulations Elizabeth and John!

the bride and groom, Canon Digital Rebel

Had the best time at a wedding all weekend, and because I shot film, have no digital memories to share just yet. Only a scary polaroid of Matt, our friend Brady and I after several blood orange martinis. I somehow thought it was a good idea to bare my teeth for the camera.

The ceremony was in a redwood grove in Mill valley {the place was enchanted} and the light was so beautiful that the bride and groom seemed illuminated standing there admist the tall trees and yellow rose petals.

The highlight of the night for me was learning a silly dance that my friend Brady invented. It's called the giddyup and consists of a wavy, horselike motion in which you kick your front leg out in a bucking gesture. You really have to see it. It's something else. We later invented the "sidesaddle" which is the same thing but kicking out to the side. I was almost too good at it. The videographer got an eyefull when a group of us came at him with it. We like to think it was a bit like the Thriller video.

Another thrill were all of the incredibly talented and interesting folks that we celebrated with. Everywhere you turned there was another amazing person to talk to: writers , filmmakers, speakers . Painters , designers , inventors of magazines and photo tools. And then there were writers and writers and more writers.

I couldn't remember the last time I was a bit tipsy in the middle of the night at a 7-11 buying snacks. It felt so familiar... like high school! the disoriented feeling under all those fluorescent lights, the inner voice that commands, "Act normal!" all those sweet, salty snacks. But we got to go back to a gorgeous hotel instead of our parents house. Don't you love being an adult?

Congratulations to our friends Elizabeth and John whose love inspired all of us this weekend. We love you.