exploit the youth

leaves like stars, Canon Digital Rebel

Another blog idea from Maggie's book. (page 5)

One of my favorite conversations with a wee little guy:
Me: (excited to see him after a long time) Hey dude! How you doin?
Little guy: (brow furrowed looking concentrated)
Me: You okay?
Little guy: (in a very serious voice, looking me straight in the eye) I just pooped.

I want to hear your favorite conversations with cute little people!
...

And on an entirely different topic, this link had me laughing out loud. {via Tablehopper} Turn on the volume on your computer, choose the first product, click "see side effects" and choose "bake bread."

Swallow Your Pride

Mighty girl Maggie Mason's book came out this year! I got my copy at the perfect time. My pregnancy brain has taken over and my brain cells are all being hijacked by the baby. I am in dire need of ideas for my blog.

On page 36 (a page titled "Swallow Your Pride") she suggests you scan in a really awkward adolescent photo of yourself and tell a story from that time. "The more miserable you were, the more endearing you'll become" is her promise.

Okay Maggie. I'm trusting you on this one.

So the first photo I will share is my high school cheerleading photo. It is a detail of my past that people in my life often gasp at. "You were a what?!" Yes. It's true. You could find me on the top of pyramids, doing "herkies" and twirling about in a short skirt.

I did it because I liked to dance and loved choreographing those half-time routines. Honestly, the sideline cheers were a wee bit embarrassing, an unfortunate part of the job description that I endured so that I could do the running man and electric slide come half time.

Nevertheless, when I decided to become a life coach two years ago, some of those same fears returned. Would people think I was dorky to want to be a life coach? Was there any way to make it cool? I was afraid people were going to think of Stuart Smalley on Saturday Night Live or Dr. Phil... I was afraid Matt would think it was silly.

Then I had a dream.

In the dream I was a cheerleader. In the dream, I told Matt that this was really me, that as shy as I was to admit this part of myself, it really was who I am at my core. And this is what made me happiest: empowering others, encouraging them and believing in them so that they could create more and more of what they dreamed of and loved.

In the dream, and in real life, he is proud of me.

In a way, this photo represents an old part of me. But it also just me. I am a cheerleader.

virtual baby shower

pomegranate, Canon Digital Rebel

So many of you have asked me for my address to mail gifts... You are all so generous and sweet! (I'm getting all choked up writing this) Still more of you have requested that I stop being coy and put up a damn registry.

So here it is, in case you are moved to send something for the baby superhero. He already loves you and can't wait to meet you!

My address:
Andrea Scher
P.O. Box 9234
Berkeley, CA 94709-0234

camera geek

a friend's arm and belly, only hours before labor began, Canon Digital Rebel

So many of you ask about my camera gear, so I'm going to take this opportunity to geek out on you! I upgraded to a new Canon digital SLR called the XTi and I am so excited about it! If you are wanting to expand your photography skills and have an amazing creative and learning tool, I am a huge fan of the digital rebel. The new model is even better (faster shutter, self-cleaning sensor, better auto focus, more compact, less expensive) You will be amazed at how sharp and beautiful your photos are. As you can see, I swoon for my camera...

As for lenses, I used the kit lens (18-55mm) for a couple of years before I purchased any others. It is a great all-purpose lens. That said, when I bought my portrait lens, my universe changed. This dreamy lens is beautiful, fast, works well in low light and creates that wonderful shallow depth of field effect we all love.

Photo sites that always inspire:
The week in pictures

Chromasia

Durham township

Dawn Mikulich photography

Anna Kuperberg

How much knowledge is power?

my guilty pleasure, caffecito in the morning, Canon Digital Rebel

We had our first birth class a few weeks ago and I have to admit that when I walked in and that birth video was playing (the one with the English hippy in the birth tub with her naked husband) I just wanted to run out of the room. I felt claustrophobic and afraid. All her moaning and her eyes going every which way... it made me feel shy and young and scared.

And I thought it would get better. That is was good for me somehow to see all these videos, that it would toughen me up or something. But after six weeks of this, I finally said it out loud to the birth class. "I can't stand these videos! I am so much more afraid to give birth now!"

This felt radical to say. (Especially in Berkeley and especially because these are all very natural, supposedly beautiful birth experiences. They are not inherently scary) I am all for knowledge is power but somehow in this case it's not working for me. I am left with so much fear and anxiety and I'm not having the "birth is beautiful" experience but something else, something akin to terror or yuck or this is too personal to be watching... and I remember how my teacher didn't get it at first. When another woman echoed my feelings and said, "Yeah, that last one had me completely in tears for a while afterwards." and the teacher said, "Yes! birth is so moving..." and how we're like "No! We were afraid not moved!"

So I felt a little silly the other night when she played a cartoon instead, one called "The Elk and the Epidural" and told me I could sit outside if I needed to. I felt a little alone, immature, unevolved... (but actually enjoyed the cartoon better than the real people videos)

What I really want is to trust myself, my intuition, my body, my spirit, my magic. I want to trust myself to birth, to parent, to feed my child. Aren't those the most natural of things? and yet, the books stack up on my nightstand, the how-to's and the what-ifs and the how-to-be-greats what-not-to-dos...

I've been wondering what I really need to know about this process and how I need to learn so that I feel confident going in, if I can just go in cold, be a beginner, follow my body and the labor team we've assembled. What do I really need to learn about all of this? Can I be even more present with less information? If this process is so natural, then why do I have to read so many books and take these classes? How much can I feel my way into this experience and trust myself to know the way? How much knowledge is power?

A pretty little quote

tomatoes, Canon Digital Rebel

"Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. When you
become good at the art of letting sufferings go, then you'll come to
realize how unnecessary it was for you to drag those burdens around with
you. You'll see that no one else other than you was responsible. The truth
is that existence wants your life to become a festival."

-Osho

anatomy of a superhero necklace

Joy superhero necklace, illustration by Linda Davick

Still on the subject of color heals all... a most delightful anatomy of a superhero necklace by Linda Davick. Isn't she amazing?

And I will be sending out a newsletter soon about holiday superhero shopping, but keep in mind that this superhero is going on maternity leave by the end of November. This means order your holiday treats early this year!

denial

Brent's outfit at the wedding, Berkeley, CA, Canon Digital Rebel

A conversation with my husband:
Me: Honey, do you keep shrinking my underwear in the dryer?
Matt: (not knowing the correct answer) Uh... no?
Me: (furrowed brow) Because they keep getting smaller.

It literally took me the last month to admit to myself that my underwear are in fact not getting smaller, but my ass is getting bigger. I went out and bought large underwear in orange and purple and red and turqouise and feel so much better now. Color heals all! The above pic is my proof. Don't you love his wedding outfit?

29 weeks...

29 weeks, self-portrait, Berkeley, CA, Canon Digital Rebel

This is a photo of me from yesterday. I have to admit I was a little taken aback by it. Am I that big? I still feel surprised when strangers make comments or ask me questions about when I'm due. "Is it that obvious?" I asked my friend over the weekend at the farmer's market. His comment was, "No, you just look like you swallowed a watermelon."

I think the thing that is so amazing is that I actually have 2 and a half months to go! (Being a petite 5 foot 3 inch person, that is a little alarming to me.)

Mostly though, I am just excited. Having waited so long for this miracle to arrive, I am truly relishing every step. And I don't believe I've mentioned this, but we're having a boy! We couldn't be more thrilled.

free hugs

Camie and Jeremy, Stinson Beach, Canon Digital Rebel

This made me cry happy, hormonal tears today.

we are both

Kathryn Aaker, SF, Canon Digital Rebel

"We are the mirror as well as the face in it.
We are tasting the taste this minute
of eternity. We are pain
and what cures pain, both. We are
the sweet cold water and the jar that pours."
Rumi