thank you

self portrait in a dressing room, Canon Digital Rebel XTi

You guys are the best. Really.
Thank you for all of your comments yesterday.

In coaching, there are "gremlins" that we refer to... they are those critical voices in your head that tell you how much you suck, that no one wants to hear what you have to say (because really WHO ARE YOU to say anything interesting/meaningful/worth reading?) and that you are just generally not good enough at anything you do. You might as well quit.

You know these voices well because you have gremlins of your own.

Yesterday, you were like my army of goodness, striking them down and reminding me of what is important and why I keep coming back to connect. I am always blown away by how smart, kind, wise and generous you all are...

...
On another note, I have been SO moved/inspired by these things lately:
Expecting Adam by Martha Beck. Ali Edwards sent this to me and even though I am only half way through it is already one of my favorite books. I had no idea how funny she is in addition to connecting with the deeply meaningful and magical in life. I am ready to devour every single one of her books.

Crazy Sexy Cancer. Two people mentioned this book/film to me yesterday and I was so moved by the trailer. The film aired on TLC a couple of days ago (I don't have cable) butI look forward to somehow seeing the entire film soon.

Wreck This Journal by Keri Smith. I am so excited to play with this book by my wonderful friend. The best thing about it is that I don't have to keep it away from Ben. He can chew and rip to his heart's content. A true collaboration. (This book is literally dedicated to perfectionists everywhere)

Anna Kuperberg has a new blog that is even more beautiful than her last. I always look through her images before a photoshoot to get inspired. She is truly masterful. Magic seems to unfold right before her.

Boho girl also launched a gorgeous new photo site recently called Boho Photo. She will not only take great photos of you but make you feel like a super sexy beauty in the process. She took some great shots of Ben and me that I adore...

And if you are in the Portland area and need portraits, take a peek at Jen Downer's beautiful new site: She Saw Things.

a formal apology

Ben, Matt and Andrea, photo by Jed Olson, Canon Digital Rebel XTi

Every time I begin a new entry lately it begins as an apology...I figure I'll get it all out in one fell swoop.

I'm sorry I haven't written anything "of substance" lately.
I'm sorry I am a boring boring person now that doesn't go anywhere or take photos of anything except her incredibly cute baby.
I'm sorry I don't keep up the blog like I used to.
I'm sorry I have no edge.
I'm sorry I'm not as inspiring.
I'm sorry I don't go to Burning Man or any other cool hipster things anymore, especially ones that involve leaving my house.
I'm sorry I don't respond to comments.
I'm sorry it takes me weeks, sometimes even months, to respond to emails.
I'm sorry there are typos, terrible grammar, and bad writing on this blog.
I'm sorry I haven't updated the rest of my site in over a year.
I'm sorry I messed up your jewelry order. I have no short term memory anymore.

I have learned to let go of a lot since I had Ben- sleep, a clean house, square meals. I have had to let go of doing things perfectly, or even well. For a perfectionist his has been humbling. I know I often quote SARK, and this is another good one that is on my mind: "Be willing to do things badly."

Okay, SARK and my dear readers.
I'm officially ready and willing.

something to ponder

Quick transmission from Colorado where I am visiting family! I just realized that we have our photo assignment today... but I'm not sure I'm going to continue them. Since I'm not able to have you link or download to the site, it seems a bit tricky for folks to participate. Perhaps we should have a different kind of assignment- a question to answer?

Since I am coming off of nearly two solid days of no sleep (he looks like such an angel in the photo above!) I am wondering how you (parent or not) find time for self-care. This blog is part of my self-care, a little creative indulgence in the day that nourishes my creativity and my love of connection. How do YOU do it?

nothing is sacred

Ben, photo by Jen Gray, Canon Digital Rebel XTi

Soon after arriving at my friend's house yesterday...
K: Um, Andrea. I think you have poo on your ear.
Me: Oh my god!!! (laughing, screaming and running to the bathroom to wipe it off)

It was a false alarm, just a bit of ink, but I can't believe I live in a world where this is the first thing people would assume is on my ear. Not ink, not food, but poo.
Poo people! Poo!

PARK(ing) Day 2007

Dear Readers,

Matt here, Andrea's husband. Thank you all for the birthday wishes a few weeks back! Andrea has graciously allowed me to commandeer her blog for the day to announce:

PARK(ing) Day 2007!

PARK(ing) Day grew out of a temporary public intervention that my art collective, REBAR, created in 2005. Way back then we were interested in exploring the range of possibilities for reprogramming the metered parking space for alternative activities. And, as it turns out, it is apparently NOT illegal in San Francisco County to occupy a metered parking space with something other than a private vehicle.

One of REBAR's PARKs PARK(ing) Day 2006

In response to the worldwide interest in that original project , REBAR created the first "PARK(ing) Day" in 2006, which included 47 PARKs in 13 cites around the globe, including San Francisco, Berkeley, Cleveland, NYC, London, Glasgow, Manchester, Rio de Janeiro, and others. The Mayor of San Francisco even built a PARK in his parking space!

PARK in SF Mayor Gavin Newsom's parking spot PARK(ing) Day 2006

This year we are doing it again! On 9/21/07 people around the globe will convert metered parking spaces into temporary public open spaces. So far this year is sizing up to be absolutely HUGE - there will be dozens of PARKs in SF, Berkeley, NYC and LA, and new participants in cities around the world, including Paris, Barcelona, Melbourne, Berlin, Munich and Toronto.

REBAR will be creating the "PARKcycle" a mobile, human-powered public park, which we will pedal around San Francisco, to deliver temporary public space where and when it is needed.

PARKcycle by REBAR

So, I'm writing to ask you to help us spread the word!

If you have a blog, bulletin board, or bullhorn, please tell you friends about PARK(ing) Day. Plus it's easy to get involved and build a park in your own urban environment!

Everything you need to know is on the PARK(ing) Day website and you can see the video trailer of last year's event here.

The goal of PARK(ing) Day is to:

1) inspire people to reconsider the way our streets are used;

2) generate meaningful dialog regarding the planning principles that continue to unsustainably privilege the automobile above other uses of public space,

3) and to put a big smile on your face!

So please, help us spread the word, build a PARK in your local community, or write about it on your blog.

Thanks so much!

Matt

denise is one hot babe

Boho Babe with camera, Canon Digital Rebel XTi

Loving:
Kelly Rae Roberts who joined us at the end of the retreat. What a talented and wonderful human she is!

The book Left To Tell Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust by Immaculee Ilibagiza. Immaculee survived the genocide by hiding in a Hutu pastor's tiny bathroom for 3 months with a 7 other women. (I actually downloaded the audio version of the book and felt the story was that much more powerful in her voice.)

Sigg water bottles from Switzerland. They are made of aluminum and are feather light. More importantly, plastic won't leach into your water! I've had a Nalgene bottle forever and thought they were great until I tasted the water from the Sigg. Huge difference in the taste. They also have baby water bottles. (Got one for Ben)

Assignment #4: Photograph a face that mysteriously appears

This is one of the things I love most in life-when a face magically appears in your food, in the clouds, in the cracks in the concrete. A while back, I wrote about Cheese Dog, a St. Bernard made of gorgonzola I found in my salad one night. Then there was the Orchid Oracle... Today, it was a watermelon Hundertwasser.

I realized that my spam blocker doesn't allow links in the comments section. Instead, I will create a little group photo pool in flickr each week for you to add your photos. Here is the link for this week's challenge.

BTW: If you're not familiar with Hundertwasser's work, you're in for a treat. Here is a nice selection of his paintings and architecture.

retreat

Denise, Kate, Christine, Jen, Alameda beach, Canon Digital Rebel XTi

Creative retreat is in full swing! Pictured above are Boho Denise, Self-taught Kate, Swirly Christine and Jen Gray. It is a smaller group this year and just wanted to give a shout out to the rest of our posse from last year: Penelope, Pixie, Christine, Katrina and Keri Smith. We miss you!

I must say, it's good to have girl time.

8 months of Ben

Ben, 8 months old, Canon Digital Rebel XTi

Dear Ben,

You have been very busy these days. You have been perfecting your army man commando scooch across the floor and getting alarmingly fast. You put your forearms under your chest and propel your body forward with your upper body strength. You haven't figured out how to get up on hands and knees or pull yourself up yet and for this I am grateful. When you are around other kids who are crawling I try to cover your eyes so you don't get inspired. I hope I'm not holding you back; it's just that we haven't even babyproofed the house yet.

We took you to a beautiful place on the coast just north of santa cruz last weekend called Costanoa. You got to see the ocean and go hiking with daddy. As usual you were less impressed with the landscape and more impressed with the pretty waitresses that pinch your cheeks. How can I blame you? You have always been a ladies man.

Likes: Bananas, the stereo cabinet, my friend's boobies, pretty girls in restaurants, your babysitter and crumpling up the New Yorker.
Disikes: Being on your back, getting your diaper changed, putting on clothes, avocado, bibs, water and bottles when you're not completely ready.

Did I mention you are a very busy guy?
When I pick you up and you spare a moment to hug me I just melt and grin and savor every last second that you stay in my arms. You usually have a lot to do (Rifle through cabinets, eat the book on the floor, chew on the caterpillar toy, push the stereo buttons) but I relish every second that you let me hold you in my arms. You have never been one of those super smooshy huggy babies, but more of the independent persuasion. I think that's why you love the Bjorn. You can face out and see the world. When you see something you like, you flap your arms wildly and kick your legs like you're jogging in place. You are ready to dive in to life.

I was away from you for a record breaking five hours last weekend when I shot that wedding with Kim at Costanoa. When I came to nurse you in the evening you hugged me so tight and for the first time in your life didn't want to go anywhere. I held you and held you and heard you giggling over my shoulder. It was like nervous giggles because you were so excited and relieved that I had come back. It was one of the sweetest moments of my life.

You were sleeping through the night for a while there, but now we're back to the old wake-up-several-times-a-night-mommy-is-a-zombie days. We need to have another heart to heart about that, but I also understand if you're growing and extra hungry these days and that's just the way it is.

This weekend is my retreat with my online creative posse. They are an amazing group of girls who will shower you with kisses. You will adore them... and you will get to see what slumber parties are like. This might be your only chance to see what girls talk about at slumber parties so pay attention!

Ben, I know I'm biased, but one look in your lacy blue ocean eyes and you can see what a good little man you are. Truly, you are pure goodness. I think this is what I will always be most proud of about you. A bright little light inching his way across my living room floor.

Assignment #3: Photograph a heart that appears on your path

Heart diptych, Canon Digital Rebel XTi

This photo challenge was inspired by this incredible collection of found hearts. The entire collection is totally magical and proof that we find what we are looking for (or expect to see) out there in the world.

I'll be on the lookout for more hearts this week.

succulent ala Georgia O'Keefe

succulent, UC Berkeley Botanical Garden, Canon Digital Rebel XTi

Not much to offer you,
Just a lotus flower floating
In a small jar of water.

- Ryokan (1758-1831)

For Matt's birthday we went to the UC Berkeley Botanical garden to check out the ginormous corpse flower that blooms every twelve years. It was rumored to be bigger than human size and smell like rotting flesh! We were intrigued. It had closed up when we arrived and it didn't smell, but was amazing just the same. Here is a nice shot of it open.

Happy Birthday hot stuff!

Matt is my hunky husband, Canon Digital Rebel XTi

Things that have already made my day:
This awesome video(via Dancing Mermaid)

This article about SARK by Chris Colin entitled "Go ahead, try to hate SARK."

Ben, not exactly saying his first words, but starting to mimic things he hears. I swear he said "mama" the other day. (Maggie even heard it too!) and while he was sitting on Sasha's lap he let out a "Blah, blah, blah" while she and I were blathering on about something. Already a critic.

And finally, I posted this hunky blue steel-esque shot of Matt because it's his birthday today. Happy Birthday honey!

Assignment #2: Photograph something so close, it's hard to decipher what it is

boxes of something, Canon Digital Rebel XTi

Remember that kid's magazine Highlights that used to be in the dentist's office? I used to love this exercise that they had in the back pages.

why do you blog?

Maggie is one of my favorite bloggers, this morning at the Alameda flea market, Canon Digital Rebel XTi

This is an excerpt from my interview with Wendy over at Mother Rising. I am reprinting it here because it was such a great question and I'd like to pose the question to you as well.

Why do you journal/blog?

I journal to remind myself of the good stuff in my life. I journal to count my blessings, to celebrate what's working, to remember where the color is, where the joy is, who I love, what I'm learning. I journal to work out the tough stuff, to feel less alone and exorcise the demons. I journal to make an offering of my life. I journal so that someone else might feel less alone or be inspired or feel connected.

I journal to feel connected.

I journal to share myself and my life. I journal because I want to create a habit of celebrating. I journal to remind myself and others that the world is full of beauty, often tucked away in the most ordinary and unlikely places. I journal to remind myself that there is beauty everywhere.

I journal because it helps me to practice seeing.

interview fun

I did interviews with two of my fave ladies this week! One on Jen Lemen and one at Mother Rising...Hope you enjoy them!