Happy Mother's Day

Ben and the molar, Canon Rebel Xti

Ben and his first haircut, Canon Rebel Xti

Ben looking concerned before the haircut, Canon Rebel Xti

the haircut, Canon Rebel Xti

My beautiful Ben,

I just want to tell you how happy I am to be your mama. I'm so glad you picked me.
I love you,
mama

P.S. Sorry about the horrendous haircut. We'll even it out next time.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you mothers, aunties, godmothers, and friends to little ones! The world needs you so much.

finding yourself on the map

self portrait writing lists at Cafe Gratitude, Berkeley, CA, Canon Rebel Xti

A few years ago I read a fantastic book called The E-Myth: Why Most Small Businesses Don't Work and What do Do About It. (If you are running a small business or you are thinking of starting one I highly recommend it)

One of the best things I learned from the book was about the three basic roles that exist in any successful business. The Entrepreneur, The Manager and The Technician. The entrepreneur is the visionary. She is the person that looks at the big picture, creates a vision for where the company is going and creates a plan for how the business must operate to get there. The manager supervises, oversees the day to day operations and makes sure systems are in place that allow things to work efficiently. The final role in this trio is the Technician. This is the person that gets the job done. In my case, the technician designs the jewelry, puts it together, ships the packages and communicates with the clients.

The problem in a lot of creative businesses is that the artist stays too long in the role of the Technician (making the pies, the jewelry, the music) and rarely steps out to embody the other roles. Also, because the Technician is the doer, they often want to do it all themselves and believe they are the only ones that can do the job. (Hello me!) This leads to burnout for the artist and an imbalance in the business that doesn't allow it to grow. Besides that, no one is managing the big picture and asking important questions about the business itself.

As I come out of a wonderfully busy Mother's Day season, I can't help but notice how steeped I am in Technician. I am your little workhorse and whatever you need done I will hop to it with lightning speed! I've become a little doing machine, not just in my business but in the rest of my life as well. Whether it's packaging orders or getting Ben his bottle, I am so deep in doing mode I can barely see straight. I am literally breathless.

I long for the manager in me to rise up and see that we need to find some recipes, make a list and go to grocery store. I long for the visionary that can step back and imagine where Ben might go to preschool and how we're going to pay for it. I need someone who can write a budget, plan some trips for the summer, and get some healthy food on the table every night. I long to be one of those people that cooks for the week on Sunday. Who are these people? and how do you do it?

Just as this book warns that just playing the role of technician will eventually lead to burnout, I see that this imabalance is true for regular life as well. Before Ben and when I still lived in the city, I used to take a lot of public transportation. I never minded an hour long bus or train ride because it gave me time to write in my journal. This usually consisted of me making copious lists. I made lists of things to do that day. I made lists of dreams I had. I made lists of trips I wanted to take, camera equipment I wanted to buy and what our boy would look like when he came into our lives. I made lists of what I was grateful for, what I wanted to let go of and what I wanted to manifest. Sometimes I never even looked back at these lists, but making them always calmed me.

I see now that this was my visionary time, and without it I feel ungrounded, directionless and floaty. Today I dare you to make some lists of your own and see how it feels. It only takes a few minutes, but it is like finding yourself on a map.

You can't get where you're going if you don't know where you are.

Why I am moving at the speed of light

For any of you last minute folks out there, I can still do Express Mail overnight shipping to get your orders to you for Mother's Day. (I am only offering bulls eye pendants with this option though)

Apparently moving at the speed of light, trying to get all my orders out this season and watching Ben all at the same time isn't without its flaws. I have been double shipping lots of people and I am so grateful that you all are so honest! Thank you for letting me know!

I am slowing coming to terms with the fact that my short term memory is shot to hell and I might never fully recover it. My friends who are in their sixties told me about an article they read on new moms' brains. Apparently they look the same as sixty-something year olds' brains! So there is a biological reason why I am mildly insane right now.

That said, I've been known to overcompensate for my flaws and send you way more necklaces than you even ordered!

Deb Talan and The Weepies

Deb Talan of The Weepies, full with baby Theo back in 2007, Los Angeles, CA, Canon Rebel Xti

Deb Talan is one of my dearest friends. Since I was a fan of her music before we met, there is still a part of me that gets all goobery and starry eyed by her talent, her beauty and her deep creativity. If you haven't heard Deb's music or The Weepies yet you are in for a treat.

We met in a serendipitous way, which is how all of the best things in my life unfold. Years ago, Matt and I were searching for a summer subletter and a friend pointed us to a wonderful musician who needed a place to live for several months. One day he heard me playing the Weepies and ran into my room excitedly, "You're a fan of the Weepies?" When I told him how much I loved them, he smiled and said that he was a friend of theirs and often plays with them. We hatched a plan for them to do a house concert at our place a few months later.

It was like a dream come true. I remember a moment so vividly when I was stirring a big pot of pasta on the stove and Deb and Steve were doing soundcheck in the living room. I grinned so wide, taking in the music and thought, My favorite band in the whole world is playing in my living room right now. How did I get so lucky? My heart was so full.

And really, you guys know this because you are Weepies fans. Even when they are playing on your stereo in your living room, you get that full-hearted warm feeling, right? They just do that to you.

Their new album was just released, Hideaway, and I think it's the best one yet. A friend of mine put it well when she said, How did they know they were making an entire album just for me?

the music

Ben at his piano, Berkeley, CA, Canon Rebel Xti

"You are the music while the music lasts." -T.S. Eliot

New Superhero Photo Challenge is up on Shutter Sisters!