I think I needed to read this today. The part that especially caught my attention..."nothing is wasted dear people. We can use all of it. And if we can be masterful at anything, it's being ourselves."

I've just discovered your blog. I will be back. You've given this old broad (almost 60) a shot in the arm, a kick in the butt, to put my lengthy past of should'ves, would'ves, could'ves firmly behind me and just keep exploring myself and all the new days ahead of me. I'll be attending my first art retreat in just a few weeks in Wisconsin with more enthusiasm and wonder than I would have thought possible. Thanks.

You read my mind, super sweet Andrea. I box myself all the time and have a real hard time with it. I'm going to try to let go of all that crap and embrace all parts of me more comfortably. Thank you xoxxo

Just discovered your wonderful blog - like all the other readers who've left comments, I can soo relate to this post...
From the day I was born, I've been living outside the box - born to British/Swedish expats in Africa, I spent my early years NOT confined to the expat "compounds" but in the villages with the locals living, to all intents and purposes, as one of them...
I'm now an expat but live as a local in the French Alps from where I regularly travel to and from India, Sri Lanka and Africa...where I'm NGO volunteer.
What I think bothers people most is the fact that I speak the "Queen's English", look Swedish and behave like a "bush" girl (I'm extremely demonstrative : I laugh, I sing and dance, I cry...soo un-British!!)
- Why should we all have to fit into neatly into little confined neatly labelled boxes, anyway..?
Thanks for sharing..:)

Just discovered your wonderful blog - like all the other readers who've left comments, I can soo relate to this post...
From the day I was born, I've been living outside the box - born to British/Swedish expats in Africa, I spent my early years NOT confined to the expat "compounds" but in the villages with the locals living, to all intents and purposes, as one of them...
I'm now an expat but live as a local in the French Alps from where I regularly travel to and from India, Sri Lanka and Africa...where I'm NGO volunteer.
What I think bothers people most is the fact that I speak the "Queen's English", look Swedish and behave like a "bush" girl (I'm extremely demonstrative : I laugh, I sing and dance, I cry...soo un-British!!)
- Why should we all have to fit into neatly into little confined neatly labelled boxes, anyway..?
Thanks for sharing..:)

Just discovered your wonderful blog - like all the other readers who've left comments, I can soo relate to this post...
From the day I was born, I've been living outside the box - born to British/Swedish expats in Africa, I spent my early years NOT confined to the expat "compounds" but in the villages with the locals living, to all intents and purposes, as one of them...
I'm now an expat but live as a local in the French Alps from where I regularly travel to and from India, Sri Lanka and Africa...where I'm NGO volunteer.
What I think bothers people most is the fact that I speak the "Queen's English", look Swedish and behave like a "bush" girl (I'm extremely demonstrative : I laugh, I sing and dance, I cry...soo un-British!!)
- Why should we all have to fit into neatly into little confined neatly labelled boxes, anyway..?
Thanks for sharing..:)

You *are* masterful at being yourself, Andrea. It's my favourite thing about you. It's your superpower.

I hope Squam is everything you hoped. I know from experience that your audience will enjoy the hell out of your session. It sure as hell cured me.

K.

I really connect with this post! It's like you're channeling my thoughts! ;-)

I was also intrigued by your flash in the picture above the post, what kind of flash is that?

No worries, you will rule the world,
Sam

Oh that is just lovely. I am reminded of a time when I moved with my soon-to-be husband to Oregon so he could go to school. I arrived armed with a BS in biology but could not find a job. We were desperate and I ended up working for a temp agency wrapping candles. At the time I hated it. But now, looking back, I realize the simple action of learning to tie bows cracked open the door of my creative side. This led to other crafty things including knitting which I completely enjoy. Without that hateful temporary job I might not have an outlet today. So, yes, nothing is wasted.

Oh that is just lovely. I am reminded of a time when I moved with my soon-to-be husband to Oregon so he could go to school. I arrived armed with a BS in biology but could not find a job. We were desperate and I ended up working for a temp agency wrapping candles. At the time I hated it. But now, looking back, I realize the simple action of learning to tie bows cracked open the door of my creative side. This led to other crafty things including knitting which I completely enjoy. Without that hateful temporary job I might not have an outlet today. So, yes, nothing is wasted.

Oh that is just lovely. I am reminded of a time when I moved with my soon-to-be husband to Oregon so he could go to school. I arrived armed with a BS in biology but could not find a job. We were desperate and I ended up working for a temp agency wrapping candles. At the time I hated it. But now, looking back, I realize the simple action of learning to tie bows cracked open the door of my creative side. This led to other crafty things including knitting which I completely enjoy. Without that hateful temporary job I might not have an outlet today. So, yes, nothing is wasted.

Normally I lurk, but just felt compelled to say -- I do look forward to your posts so much. You have a lovely way of looking at life, and you alternately cheer and teach me. Thank you :)

Glad to hear that you're getting away for the week....I don't think my parents ever really took a break from my brothers and me when we were little. I don't seem to recall that they ever really took vacations alone until we were teenagers (and Older teenagers at that).

Thank you for this, Andrea. Your honesty about the messiness of life and its decisions and confusions is so comforting. Reading your words often makes me feel less alone in these feelings and gives me the little kick of courage I need to be myself and forge my own path again today.You always make me feel it's okay to BE with the messiness: my scattered ambitions, talents, fears, shortcomings...

As usual, thank you for a wonderful post that comes at just the right time for me to read it. I've been walking the path right next to yours of "I used to do all these other things, but I've left them all behind". Acting, jazz, purse-making...now I'm "just" a mom & my one creative outlet is photography. But reading your post made me think more about how what I used to do, still makes me who I am today and that makes me feel whole and creative.

Andrea,
Do you know that sometimes you speak directly to my heart. You take the swirling in my heart and fear in my head and you put it on paper. Thanks. I heart you for this!
Alex

Andrea, this isn't particularly related to your post, but I just had to write you about Nia. After reading about your love for Nia on your site over the past few months, I decided to give it a try at my YMCA.

I've gone to two classes now and I L-O-V-E it. This is like a wellness class that I would have designed for myself. I feel like a whole new avenue is opening up for me. Nia is finding me at a particularly interesting transition point in my life. I think it will be with me for a long time.

I'm so glad to have found it and so glad for your willingness to share your affection for this work. Thank you dear one.

BTW, found you through Shutter Sisters.

I think I was meant to read this post today. I’m a fairly new (green) photographer, though I have loved looking at photos of seasoned pros for a long time, and it’s only been with the acquisition of a DSLR that I’ve entertained the idea of shooting for more than a hobby. As is common for me, with any new hobby, I become a bit obsessed, doing research, finding mentors and websites and tutorials. As you can imagine, photography has a metric TON of websites dedicated to the technical aspect and how-tos, so between my curiosity outings (what I call it when I pack up the kids for a walk to a new place where I can find things that interest me on which to practice shooting), learning Photoshop, uploading Flickr images, looking at websites, and reading everything photography I can get my hands on, I’ve become consumed. With small children, I’ve had to balance my intensity with my responsibilities and my kids are some of my favorite subjects to shoot, though that creates more to play with in Photoshop. Without going into details, my husband wondered aloud about my dedication getting in the way of family stuff, and it caused my hackles to raise. After reading your post, now I know why. I’ve always had creative hobbies: writing, painting (badly), playing piano, cross stitch, and now photography. My main love was to write novels (which this comment is rapidly becoming) but with a 4 year old and an 8 month old, a novel is just too big a project to attempt right now. However, I NEED creativity, and photography offers that in shorter bursts than writing does. At first it became a substitute for the writing. Now, it’s all it’s own creature, and I’m loving every minute of it. Finding a way to work it into my life is a challenge, one I haven’t quite mastered yet. But your post gives me hope.

Hi, Andrea. You are fantastic. Thanks for writing this. I needed to hear it. Your words are comfort food for the soul, seriously.

I meant to say, too.. could you BE a better photographer?? Some of your photos are so delicious I could eat them. You're not holding yourself back, in my view :)

THAT was a perfect post today for what I've been going through. THANK YOU for saying it out loud. I am going thought the "shoulds" with myself. I cannot figure out what my vision is for my life. I think should I become an art therapist and go into treatment centers and teach art because art transformed my life and I want to give that back to others? Or should I teach in high school? Or should I do my travel photography workshops and blend a mix of spirituality with art making and have a loose schedule and have day trips in LA and trip to Mexico? Or should I be an at home part time artist who makes crafty things and sells them on Etsy? Or should I get my MFA in photography and Printmaking and them teach college level art?
I have been on spin cycle for a few YEARS now about all of these topics - and which way to go.
All of which cost money for schooling and so it feels more loaded then just deciding to get a job somewhere and see if I like it. - hmm guess I should post this on my own blog too. Seems relevant enough to share this with the small amount of people that frequent my blog! Thanks for the post - I think the answer is YES! Be myself and take an action! YES YES YES! There isn't a wrong decision!

I have been a lurker for quite some time (but I have bought three Superhero necklaces!) and have wondered what post of yours would finally cause me to leave my anonymity behind. Now that I have decided to show myself, I have a lot to say! ;o)

I truly identify with this post. I feel as though my whole life has been wasted. I struggle with this literally on a daily basis.

My sentence would be: Sometimes it's hard because I am actually happy living outside the box, but I'm also not making much money.

I started off my career as a lawyer. I went to one of the best law schools in the country. When I got out, I realized that I HATED working in the law. But it's hard to leave it -- there's the massive debt, the family and societal pressure to stay, etc., etc.

But I knew in my heart that I couldn't live my entire life this way, so I got out and swung hard the other way, and became a massage therapist. I really started living outside of the box. I went three whole years without doing any legal work.

Then, I got injured. This forced me back into the law part-time to keep paying the bills. But, I had developed some other interests on the side, so now I am: a lawyer, massage therapist, wedding minister, handwriting analyst, laughter club leader, and tarot card reader. And possibly a NIA teacher in 2009! I am truly a "jane of all trades half-ass person" now.

My problem is that I LOVE doing all of these things (except the lawyering), but I can't seem to produce much money from them. For an Ivy league educated lawyer, I struggle to make ends meet. My partner is extremely disappointed in me and we fight over money. I am so stressed out most of the time because I am trying so hard to figure everything out. This has led me to create physical problems for myself.

So even though I desperately want to be outside of the box, I often find myself thinking about doing just one thing -- one thing with a steady, decent income, benefits, vacation and sick time, etc. Then I wouldn't have to worry so much anymore!

I went to Brene Brown's website and read some of her posts on shame, and I realize that I do feel ashamed. I am ashamed that I cannot make all of these different things work out financially. I feel as though I am not good enough to do anything right. It is hard for me to read your words that "no twists and turns in my life have been wasted" because I do feel like I have blown it. I am almost 40 years old, and I feel like it's too late to get it right even though I know in my head that it's never too late to start over.

So I truly appreciate your words in this post, and the words of those who have commented, and I will try to feel compassion for myself today. And, to end on a positive note, I will admit that even though I don't make a lot of money now and even though there is a lot of stress, I feel more like myself than I ever did when I was a lawyer full-time!

"Nothing is wasted." I love that.

Sometimes it’s hard because I am __SO CRITICAL_____________________, but I’m also ____COMPASSIONATE_______________________.
Nothing is wasted on dear people.

I love this final sentence.
thank you for this.

you're camera totally owns up her camera.
Her's is all "look at me I'm petite" and your's is all "ARGH IMMA EATCHO OHMNOMNOMNOM"

I love what this post is all about. I feel like everyone is more than one thing and being confined limits the imagination. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but I know I could never do one thing only.

I don't even know how to fill out that sentence.

thank you for this, Andrea. it's perfect as i am deeply engaged in building a practice and listening for what i am called to include in it...i'm called to a color*full and flavor*full variety of pieces of me to include. such good*ness and rich*ness.

happy Squam-ing! sounds like soooooooooooo much fun. bliss*full.

warmly, gem

Phew. THAT is what I needed to hear right now. You haven't read my mind like that in years! I thought as I opened this site for a moment of escape "Why did I pick something so hard to do. I'm tired of not feeling good at my job. I'm tired of learning. I'm tired of all this rushing. I'm just tired." (and it's only Teusday).

Currently all of my sides are getting air time, and it's hard to have tieme. My chill out relax sleeping self is not getting enough airtime. But, so it goes. This phase will pass, and I will have learned a lot, and I can't waste this chance.

But thank you. Thank you for reminding me that none of it is wasted. Thank you for reminding me that we don't have to be good at all of it all the time. Sometimes it's enough that we're just doing all of it. Enjoy your escape this week. Soak it up! (and take some time away from the screen!) Now I want to get a reading. It's been a long time.

Yesterday at the Café where I work I started browsing through a notebook someone had forgotten. It was filled with short notes on people, their phone numbers and what they would be good for. Suddenly I thought, gee, how and why should I be in that book? What is my profile, why would someone write down my name and number? I couldn´t come up with anything special. Everything I could think of someone else has a better fame for. It does bother me often that I do so many things (and I´d like to think I am doing them well enough) but somehow the everything becomes a nothing, I am hard to pin down. I suppose while I won´t even be able to focus on just one thing, I am going to work on my profile so that I can be in someone´s book for something they really would want to call me for!

I think just from reading how I feel coming from someone else, this is like a ding ding ding moment for me. I want to do so many things and never seem to do really well at one of them and feel like a failure for not sinking all my energy into it, but why would I only want to do one thing all the time? Thanks for this post!

Sometimes it’s hard because I am overwhelmed by all the hats I wear, but I’m also blessed to have those hats to wear.

Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, Friend, Employee, Coach.....they are varied and demanding, each in their own way but I would have it no other way, because then it would not be my life.

I was going to say, Sometimes it's hard because I am so tired, but I am also strong and resilient...

But I'd like to say what you said too. I have so many things I want to do and sometimes I feel like if I would pick one thing, I could have had success in that arena. But I didn't.

Then again, I think being a writer, a teacher, a painter, an amateur philosopher, a hobby photographer, a tarot reader, a wannabe chef, a closet poet, a pretend fashion designer and interior decorator, and all the other things I do and am have made me better at what I do. It's a good thing to be a generalist when you are teaching other (which you do, you know, with this blog) and it's good to be a generalist when you are a writer or an artist. It's good to have all those wells of knowledge to pull from and realms of experience to put to your projects.

And like you said, nothing is wasted. Maybe that unexplored project from ten years ago will come up again and enrich a new story?

I am so excited to take your class at Squam. I think its exactly what I need!

I think that having faith in something--for me, God--is vital. That way I know that I'm right where I should be and that I am okay.

I think that having faith in something--for me, God--is vital. That way I know that I'm right where I should be and that I am okay.

I think that having faith in something--for me, God--is vital. That way I know that I'm right where I should be and that I am okay.

I think that having faith in something--for me, God--is vital. That way I know that I'm right where I should be and that I am okay.

Andrea,
You are going to rock Squam -- and I am heartily jealous of all the people who are going touch this week. You have a gentle strength that insistently pushes with compassion -- an awesome teaching style and a genuine earnestness in whatever you do -- so you will be masterful.

I am just embarking on another period of time off -- my contract ends tomorrow and I have been saving up in order not to have to look for another job for a little bit -- it is scary and exciting and my box. I am going to ponder it while I vacation in Puerto Rico starting tomorrow! :) Thanks for all the lessons, I will be reaching into the box again to use the tools you helped me hone.

Have a great week at Squam!

"And if we can be masterful at anything, it's being ourselves."

Perfect. I've been having the 'one thing' conversation with myself since Summer started to fade. This post was just what I needed to read. Thank you and enjoy Squam.

Thank you for this amazing post. The timing is perfect for me.

I appreciate so much that your blog is one of the places I love to visit so I've nominated you for a Brillante Premio award on my blog. You're worth so much more but there you go.

Thanks for this. I also think about this a lot (picking the ONE thing). I'll rest a little easier knowing there are others out there like me. I can't not pick a bunch of things! Mine (work-wise) are somatic therapist, writer and artist (this last one very new, still worried that one can't just start developing an interest in art at the age of (gasp) 40! If you know that people do this, please let me know.
Also, what is it about this "One" business anyway - like the One person you were meant to be with, etc. - I think there's something there worth pondering).
I was going to go to Squam, too, until I realized that I couldn't spend the whole time at your workshop! Have fun. I've always found I'm the best mom I can be when I'm all filled up.

ohh yes Scanners.
i am a scanner too, and have spent my life trying to Just Pick That One Thing. It does not work. not for me, anyway. but i am finally getting to the point in life where i am seeing the connections and how it makes such a full, rich life to not choose, but just Be the multifaceted self i was created to be.
enjoy it all!

beautiful post, i love your honesty. i too struggle with balancing all of my hats... mother, partner, painter, writer, sculptor, photographer... but when i have tried to focus on just one thing, i feel such longing for all the others... so i balance, out of desire and need. i have accepted the fact that i will always balance all of these things. and i am at a place now that i am happy with that.

Have you read "Refuse to Choose" by Barbar Sher? It's about people she calls Scanners: "someone who frequently has a multiplicity of interests, but finds it hard to create a successful life he or she loves because their passions and abilities are taking them in so many different directions." (http://www.powells.com/biblio/1-9781594863035-4) I haven't read it yet, but was thrilled to find out that there are other people like me! :) I struggle to mesh all the parts of myself. [I heard about the book from Gwen Bell (www.gwenbell.com), and I think she heard of it from Caroline Donahue, a life coach in LA (www.remabulous.com).]

Looking forward to wasting nothing with you at Squam!

What a wonderful post. I know that this was something that I have always struggled with myself, so its always comforting when others are saying what you were thinking.

Maybe as human beings we are more complex than fitting into one little box.

Veronique

What a wonderful post. I know that this was something that I have always struggled with myself, so its always comforting when others are saying what you were thinking.

Maybe as human beings we are more complex than fitting into one little box.

Veronique

Wow! I love when the universe sends me a message, espescially when the message comes from such an engaging writer! Just this afternoon I was thinking about all the time I have wasted - time in that relationship, time in that soul-sucking job, time sleeping in and staying up too late watching crappy TV. Fortunately I am past those phases of my life, but I was really beating myself up for not "evolving" sooner. Thanks for reminding me to be compassionate towards myself, thanks for helping me to lift this needless guilt off myself.

Nothing is wasted.

And Andrea, thanks for being a role model - I admire you for all the hats you wear, and wish my own life included so many creative pursuits. I've never been able to choose the one thing I "should" be doing, and so I find it liberating to read your blog and discover that perhaps one doesn't have to choose.

I adore the photo. And this is a wonderful, thought provoking post.

Hi Andrea
I just checked out your blog and love the new look! I read the post about considering changing it up and the resulting thoughts, but my vote, for what it's worth, is...it looks fab!
Congratulations for the courage to try something new!
Big hugs,
Catherine

love this post. thanks andrea.

Boxes contain
the gifts
you bring home.

since years i am waiting for the day where i can have a short and sweet title for my business card, for my email signature, for my answering machine, for all the people asking me for my job title...
the one word which seems to define each person's role in the universe... but i cant fit in one word! i do so many things, multi-tasking seems to be what i am good at!

But still, i always wish that one day i'll wake up with the perfect word on my lips which will say it all, wrap it all up, so that i finally dont have to search for words to define who i am and what i do...

sending you my love and compassion to you this week - soar my dear, just soar!!!

awesome about Matt, by the way!!! Venice?!!!

xoxo

Sometimes it’s hard because I am a mom trying to teach her kids about life, but I’m also still trying to figure life out myself.

In some ways you are lucky that you know what you love doing. I'm still trying to figure out what I love. On my mopey days he asks "If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?" and I just don't know!

In business the term is Opportunity Cost. Yes, there are many costs associate with one choice over another, but in the end, you make peace with the choices you've made, because there would have been different opporunity costs for not making those choices in the first place!

OH, you have no idea how good it was to read this--I have the same "gremlin" voice about being a jack of all trades half-assed person (hmm... this particular gremlin must have many assignments, I reckon). Thanks for the boost!

hi lucky me for being able to bask in all of your everything when you teach. i'm glad you're not all techy because that speak doesn't speak to me.

despite my gremlins and being so far outside of my box with going to squam...i'm really excited. now if i could just figure out what to pack!!

funny...I am working on just being me, choosing things that I like, just because I like them...so much time I think has been wasted on not doing anything that has stuck, that is my niche...but none of that time is wasted, I am just that much closer...thanks for this post

Beautiful post!

Mine is (and it might fit you too):
Sometimes it's hard because I am only one wee person, but I'm also multi talented and strong.

:-)